Letter... U

A letter written to love... Even with the numerous ways to say how we feel for someone the best is still hand writing it in a letter. Old fashioned letter... Shows more affection and emotion.

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To: Someone I know

I hope that you are well while reading this letter. You may ask why I wrote you a letter of sort and did not settle for an email or text, or even called, for the reason is there are things that could be said by writing it in an old fashioned letter rather than a message sent electronically. With every word hand written, every period and commas in each sentence becomes more meaningful.Just the mere effort or hand writing it is worth the explanation. With each word handpicked to show the utmost feeling, with every stroke of the pen writing down what the heart had in stored to say.

I send you a simple yet meaningful letter to let you know how much I feel for you. Your eyes that seems to reach out and take me out of my way, your smile that could light the darkest places and be a beacon for lost hearts and souls. Your touch that soothes the most aching hearts and the voice that calms down the most restless. You are like an Angel that came to earth to cure and care for wounded hearts, guide the lost and love the unloved. A piece of heaven here on earth.

How can I ever repay you, there is nothing on earth that could amount to what you have done to me. I can never say enough how precious you are to me. How I wish I can thank you and give back the caring and love you gave me. But I know that I can never do that, cause your heart is owned by someone, I envy him and wish that it was me there with you and not him. I have felt love before but I have never felt it this strong for someone like you.

But do not worry I will not stand between you and him, instead will watch over you a step back from you, willing to wait and help you out in anyway I can. I know that you love him so much and you are happy with him. Knowing that you are happy with him fills my heart with joy too.

I wish for your happiness and will try to care for you in anyway I can.

I end this simple letter for you with a simple thank you and a prayer to god that he might grant you happiness, good health and riches. But most of all that he gives you all the love you need through the man that you are with right now.

Friend in Love...

True feeling...

When people feel something special for someone, they do the oddest things and never bother if it's right or wrong. Even if the person that they love, loves someone else and them stuck to being a friend. A friend that stands next to them patiently waiting to help, listen, and care for the one they love, doing those things and still not complicating the friendship. Watching over them ready to lend a hand anytime.

Even as a friend they get inspired and finds simple joy when with the person they love. Talking, having coffee, lunch or a simple dinner can all mean so many wonderful things for them. All these with limitations and the mere fact at the back of their mind that they can never tell what they feel because it could complicate things in where they find happiness in.

So amidst the troubled feeling, the anxiety of telling how they feel for the one they love, they need to keep it not to ruin what they have now. Some would go and directly speak of how they feel and end up in a ruining not only the friendship but leaving them in a dismay. But others succeed but ratio has it at 2 out of 10.

Would you stay put as a friend standing by for someone you can never tell your true feelings tot them.

Or someone that would clear it out and speak what they feel and never think of the possible negative out come. Gambling on the situation in loosing both a friend and a loved one and but in the same instance could also end up in a positive note.

Trip with Old friends...

I met with my grade school and high school friends for the last two weeks. First week was with my High school buds... it was August 15th on a Saturday after joining TL Tin's Team Building at ATC... I only had two hours to go home and freshen up and change and off to SM Dasma, where I met up with two of my high school friends... Honnie and Lovee... we got in a car to fetch Me-an, another friend. Then we set off to MOA to meet with the rest of the gang. Since it was almost Dinner time we opted to eat at a restaurant called KKK. There were a lot of people that day we went to MOA and that was the only place close and had space to let us in at that moment.

We all ordered something from the menu but shared paying for the food. We had Sisig Pangasinan, Spicy Squid, and Cheese topped Mussels (baked mussels). We had a blast eating the food was soo good. We finished eating and stayed for a while to wait for the others, shortly Che a high school friend also arrived but after her no one else came. So we decided to go somewhere else, and the dancing shoes were on and they are raring to got to Malate... It was just a short drive from MOA to Nakpil... The streets were full of cars parked from each side of the road and had lots of people on the streets drinking, dancing and having fun.

After finding a spot to park the car we set off to one of the most popular places to go there... Bedrock...but we didn't like the scheduled band so we looked for other places to go to... we preferred to dance rather than sit and listen to someone play or us singing. We ended up literally to the term " Bar hopping " that night we went from one bar to another. We ended up in Padi's and it was too crowded but what caught our attention was the girls in a cage dancing wildly as if stripping off clothes... why? there were foreigners seated infornt of them... We were thinking that the girls was just attracting might be customers for the night... We didn't like the way the place was set up and having no beer to serve. We transferred to a bar named H2c ( not sure about the name of it but sounds like this ) the band was great, Even had a small tribute to Michael Jackson with a comedic play. But it was at this Bar we had fun and was able to dance our feet off.

After a very tiring dance we set off to Mcdo Macapagal Road to have breakfast at 3 in the Morning. We had light meals to fill up our bellies. With all the things we done that day we had fun and were able to talk a lot of old things and new happenings to each others lives. I hope that it wasn't the last but look forward to more time to party.

A week after that Aug 22nd on a Saturday after shift, I declined Art and Rei's invitation to come with them to Tagaytay. Instead I went to MOA to meet with my grade school friend Annalyn...

Annalyn and I go back years.... since grade one. I escorted her as she was the Ms. Grade One back then... We used to fight and argue but no one can surpass her ways when she becomes annoyed, you don't want to get in her face.... trust me.

She looked pale and thin back then, but when we met last Saturday, She was still pale looking petite - skinny and tall... as tall as me.

There were a lot of things that changed but her looks didn't wither a bit. She still looked great, She used to be one of the best looking gal back then,and seems like she still is. We met near a bake shop called, Bread Talk... There I saw her buying a loaf of bread. As she came to greet me I could not believe that this girl was Annalyn... She was tall, good looking, dressed well and seems to do some modeling. She wore a dark blue blouse with neckline plunges down to show her bust but enough not to show anything, If she wore shoes with high heels I would look like a kid.

I was speechless at first and had nothing to say, but she was talkative unlike back in grade school were she preferred to be left alone and read books. I was also surprised to know that she just finished her studies major in Law. And she was about to take the BAR exams, next year. I didn't see in her any intention of getting in to Law school when we were just kids... I thought she'd be a nurse or teacher. She got into Law school because of the influence of her grand parents.

I asked her out for a simple dinner at Mannang where we had a cross of Chinese and Pinoy foods. It was all good as usual as that was the 2nd time for me to eat there. But she told me that she often come to MOA to relax when stressed with school or home. We talked and talked about a lot of things until we found out that there were a lot of people coming in for dinner and wait in line to have tables available. So we set off and I paid the check... she asked me if I wanted to go home I said no and wanted to have some coffee after a long talk over dinner that seemed to be too short. On our wat to the place where she likes to stay when she dwells with Law Books we had a glimpse of the fireworks display that MOA presents to the audience every Saturday night.We went to New Breton a crepe shop... I had coffee and a mango crepe with chocolate syrup while she had what she usually orders when she's there. Again we talked and talked and talked. We talked about stories when we were still in grade school up until the last days our batch were together. I had fun just listening to her never ending stories and backtrack of our lives. We also talked about obstacles we went through and how we became the person we are right now and past and present relationships.

We talked about so many things... the day was not enough. I admit I felt like I had a little crush on her back in grade school but didn't went with it cause she seemed to be so mean, but now I think she was really nice and a great person. Her Boyfriend right now is pretty lucky for having her. I told her as we parted ways again that If she needed someone to talk to again I'd be available and hope that our grade school friends would plan a reunion of sort for our batch. I' very proud of her.

With the two weekends with old friends, I had the chance to relive old memories again and talk about it. It made me feel like a kid and happy. I was over whelmed with the attention and concern that they give me. I am willing to do the same for them... I know how to take care of my friends and will treasure every moment with them.

Thank you for the time you guys gave me last two weeks....

Hope that we can all meet again and wish that it was not the last time I'd see you guys...

Thank you Annalyn, Honnie, Che, Me-an, Lovee, Paul.... thank you guys

This weekend Aug 29th we are set for Subic... see you guys in Subic.

Rock on.....

Ready or Not?

When could a person really say that they have moved on from a past relationship? When can we say that people survived the cold nights alone?

We are definitely in a world full of uncertain things and what we may have today may never be ours the next day. That's why we should make sure that we spend time and give the most to those things that we might loose along the way. If you look at this world that we live in people come and go and nothing really stays put in one place. If you follow the ideal way of living you would need someone to share life with. Example of that is Adam and Eve, Bonnie and Clyde, Homer and Marge ( Simpson's ), Caesar and Cleopatra, Joseph and Mary ( parents of Jesus ) and even we open our eyes to meet our parents and them happy welcoming us into this world.

Couples that meant something to each other, for support financially, for power, for religion, in crime,for love etc...

There are many reasons how people end up together. But how do you cope if you lost your partner, Cleopatra with the death of Caesar found Mark Anthony but not after bearing Caesar's child. It was good that she met another man but Mark was married to Octavian's (also known as Augustus ) sister. Mark chose to be with Cleopatra that led to the Octavian War.

But how was she able to go into a relationship with Mark Anthony, with the demise of her husband Caesar? She was able to move on for her child and country. In the time where weak countries are overpowered and conquered by powerful ones, She needed to have allies to help her and defend her realm and also to act as a father to her son.

Her reason was situational due to the era they were in, with Nations expanding their territory. But her other reason lies in simple nurturing for her child, to act as a father and protector. The second reason can be associated to the present with girls getting pregnant and was left alone to raise her child and due to hard times, need for financial assistance and guidance they look for possible partners that may suit the role and is willing to step in. They neglect the pain of the past love gone sour and look on to provide and care for her child.

This is one reason we can look at but then again it does not apply to all. Some only want the feeling of being loved and goes into any open door that offers temporary shelter. People like these sometimes end up not contented with what they have and go on looking for others, until the time when there are no one left and they come full circle to where they started, being alone and no one to love them.

This not only go to unmarried couples, nowadays married couples file Annulments and Divorce just to get away from each other cause what they had wasn't there anymore and they want out. These sometime end in sad notes not for the parents but for the kids. But never-the -less people that came from these situations end up with someone easily, as third parties become one of the reason for parting ways. The mistress for the husband and the other man for the wife.... what their partner lacked was provided by their other partner that sometimes end up to be their second husband or wife.

In the teen- generation. Boys do a lot more of the shifting, this is the time of curiosity for teens, the exploration era, guys tend to have more girlfriend and sometimes end up with several at a time. Why?.... you may ask. Remember that this is the time when teens act more active and curious about many things and they want to find answers. And that include Love... they misinterpret the meaning of love as a reason for being with someone and having someone beside them. A way to get laid and experiment with emotions. At this stage teens are never contented with what they may have and long for more and seek a lot. And in the process commits a lot of mistakes and foolish actions. That haunt them in the end.

Me on the other hand, coming from a long relationship believe that I have completely moved on. I do not need to be with someone else to say that I already did just to prove it. But I rather prefer to be single for the moment and stay that way until the time comes I fall for someone head over heels once again. I do not fall easily for any gal and I trust my emotions when it comes to Love...

It's not perfect...

Worked hard for others... and forgot about my needs.

Tired of working... I need some rest. I work 5 days a week but seems like I've been working 24/7 every week without rest days.
Been typing a lot of things and things I write with the use of my laptop doesn't seem to mean anything to me anymore. When I come in and swipe my ID to start my day I feel the stress already. And as I walk towards the my desk things that I will be doing run through my mind that seem to be a big burden and I can hear my self asking when will this stop.

The feeling of being restless at times does take it's toll on me and the aches and bruises of working shows even to the simplest of things. I guess I am really tired and need a break. Yet why do I still work with these things maybe because I carry the responsibility that no one wants to have, and if I let go things fall apart and dreams may shatter.

Maybe I am tired, and my body,mind, soul and heart is aching for some rest. It had been quite sometime now from the last time I gave my self the much deserved rest, the much needed attention and the all important love that revives all senses. I admit that being single has it's ups' and downs' but got through it and made it this far. But time knows how to take things away from you without you knowing it. And maybe I lost time,lots of it.

But when you say you want to give relief to the emotional aches, where do we start? When is the right time and when can you say that after all you have done working and performing your duties there is still something that is meant for you and that time is not yet over for someone like me.

I am growing no younger, and marks of age is catching up. Funny as it may seem but gray hair are now showing and who knows I might loose hair when I turn 30... What else is there in stored for someone like me? I know that my only fault is to neglect my own needs, and work on more for others.

Where do I start? How do I start?

Asking what again?

It's now been a year since I parted ways with my ex-gf, and up until now I remain single. If you ask me if I had regrets... no, none at all. I felt it was the best and seems to be the right choice we have done. As I have said before we remain friends which I believe is the correct thing to do since it was no joke when we talk about a ten year relationship, we both don't want those memories to go to waste and should remain treasures of the past.

Moving on she had a few new boyfriends, I on the other hand remain single but admit to have had some crushes and even fell for someone only to realize that I am better off single.

If you ask me have I moved on with my past... I would say yes. I am happy right now with how I am doing. There are moments of wanting someone by your side, but is easily replaced with the numerous work and activities I do to cut time. Emotionaly I am very much ok. I can even talk about it with other people.

I believe in God and as my shout out in my Friendster account would say " I leave everything to him " and so I do. I try to enjoy every moment of my life, either it be happy times or times off distress...

How would I describe my self.... you ask?

We what I would first tell you is I am just an average person. Loves to work a lot, too much some may say. Quiet type, the one that loves to listen to people that talk with sense in their word. I love talking to people and listening to them. I find it as the most enjoyable thing in life. Talking is a way of expression with mere words, that show so much emotion, ideas, and lots of knowledge spoken with voices that seduces the ear.

I love to listen to Music as well. Music that have wonderful lyrics and melodies. An artist's way to telling the listener how he feels and share the moment with them. I love Music it is the only thing that picks me up and soothes my aching mind and soul. Dry's my tears from sadness and comforts me when troubled.

I love to cook, love watching dvd and learn from things given to me. If you try to stay still for a moment you will see that there are so many things you are missing in life. Simple pleasures that pass by that you never had the chance to cherish that easily go wasted.

Love to sleep... when on weekend I try to sleep 24 hours or more if I can, cause when I work there sometimes is no time for sleep. I call the long sleep a time for me to " Hibernate".

To stop doing anything and start thinking about me, which I do so little before.

A new thing I like to do is to write about how I feel and it is a wonderful way of expressing how my life is right now. I can let others know how I am, If I am troubled, sick, sad, cried, mad or even be in-love. This is a great thing and something I wanted to do for some time now but never had the tools nor the will to do, until now. Thanks to technology and people that introduced me to writting. I know I am not good at it,heck I might have a lot of misspelled word and my writting might be offensive or merely have no sense at all. But for me it still special.

The last thing is to smile... I do not smile a lot in my younger years. Cause I don't see anything to smile about, nor to laugh out to. But then I learned that smiles give you a sense of joy in your heart, relieves the aches and pains and replaces them with a very uplifting feeling that I can't put into word. Yes Smiles and Laughted, two things that I will never stop doing.

Even in times of trouble try to smile or laugh at your problems and you will see that your problem isn't that big of a deal.

I guess people really sometime misunderstand how I am, maybe my personality offends them or in some ways might be totally awkward for certain situation. I apologize if I make you feel that way, but please understand that I never meant any harm to anyone this is how I live my life and want nothing more than friends on earth.

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Single - Life

I feel there is no girl can understand how I do things, She might have a lot of trouble understanding me and hard time to cope up. The relationship will just go to waste....

One of my agents asked me how old I am, and asked me if I ever think of getting married.

I answered , No.

And followed up that question with, don't you want to be able to cope with your kids while your still young, and maybe you are looking for good looking gals to court.

I think having children of my own is a great addition, but I can't do it out of marriage or love. And on the side of courting good looking girls.... hmmm, I don't think so. I never courted a girl that looked like a model, nor popular. I don't look at a girl skin deep, but rather look deeper into her personality. So Looks doesn't matter... ever.

Life is still a mystery and only God knows how things will unfold.

Happy times

I went to Perto Gallera with some of my officemates, last Feb of this year. It was my first time going to Puerto and was so excited about the trip.
We went to Puerto right after our working shift. Around 8am on a Saturday. Me, Reinan , Art, Tin , Jingle, John, Ryan Toole ( an American exchangee for our company) Paul Grimes and Jasmine Konkin with her team as well.
Since we won't fit in the van me, Reinan and Art had to take public transport. It was a gruelling two to three hours drive from Cavite to Batangas Pier, we then took a boat ride to the island.
On the Island it was breath taking the sand was fine and white, and nature was at it's finest. It's how it really looked like in pictures I used to browse in the web. We had lots of fun but the highlight was the drinking sessions we had while we sat on the sand and listen to the pumping music playing rave. It was so awesome and fun, there were lots of people sitting along side us as if the beach was only for people that knew how to enjoy life. Booze were everywhere and people from all walks of life are to be seen that night.

Single life

What if a friend fell for you? Would you entertain the situation? What would you do?

I had a ( girl )friend that I constantly talk to about a lot of things. I love talking to people and get along people that have sense in what they say. I enjoy every minute of the conversation and learn from their ideals and ways. Share laughs and smiles, and just get along with the ticking of the clock.

But one day It came to a point that she was getting too used to me and the times we spent. And I felt the oddness of her ways. As I tried to shoved away the odd ideas her acts became more loud to what she wanted. Thus in me I know I can never commit. I see her as a friend and nothing more, yes we get along but not as lovers. If I am a friend to you I will still be and forever be a friend... nothing more.

I wanted to spill the beans and ask her what is happening to her. She confessed that she fell for me... At that point I do not know what to do. Torn by the idea of ruining the friendship and breaking her heart. Thus I must make the decision, I told her that we can only be friends and I feel nothing for her. I did this to strike pain to her now at the early stage and not prolong the ache and make it harder for her. But at the same time I assured her that I will be a friend no matter what.

Isn't it awkward if you come to a point where you feel you can ruin the things that you treasure and find happiness in. And in the process also break someone's heart.

What if you come to the situation that I have been into ?

Will you do the same or what?

If I haven't done what I did, I would cause her even greater pain that what she would feel down the road. And make a point that I am not a man for her.

I do not fall easily to anyone, even if the girl really looks so beautiful that others die to be at her side. I fall for a girl that stands out in a crowd but doesn't ask for attention. I look for a girl that hides behind simplicity but is a Diamond in the ruff. A thing that excludes her from the rest of the crowd is what I am after. I do not look at the physical but would rather look at her inner being. True beauty lies within.

To my friends, I am true and will be there for you always.

2nd year....

Me and my co-batch mates recently celebrated our 2nd year working in APC. It was held at Josephine's Restaurant last Saturday morning right after our shift. There just a few of us that came cause some of the others had to run some errands and work on other things. Never-the-less the rest were able to join in.
We had lots of fun and ate great food. I even had the chance to taste the renowned " Mutya ng Cavite ". And surely it was the best and I wouldn't mind having it again. It was so tasty and creamy that every senses asked me if I can have another bowl. But besides that we also had Kare-kare, Sisig, Crispy pata and a big plate of grilled sea foods. The food was awesome, service was fast and the place was just simply great. We had laughs reminiscing the past and talked about many things that we no longer talk about in the office due to work. it took us two hours almost just to finish eating and enjoying each others company, but it didn't stop there we still craved for cakes.
Yes, we need something sweet and the cake fits the description and what better way to celebrate with an Annivesary than with a piece of cake that you share with your friends. So we set off to Malens to sample the cakes they make there, and boy we were thrilled with the array of cakes they have on display. There were chocolate, mocha, cakes that had sprinkles of nuts and a lot more. But we went to the traditional chocolate cake. The cake was divided evenly for everyone and we all had a piece. We were so stuffed from the food we ate and can no longer have a bite of the cake but we still managed to have some laughs take photos and enjoy the day with friends.
We all wished that we stay intact and that the company would grow stronger and that we may have more years to celebrate together.
Happy 2nd year Anniversary working in APC - Wave 1.

Life is hard

I have been tied up with a lot of things in my life… Resposibilities in the house , for the family , for friends for work , school work ( when I was still in school ), love one and a lot of other things. Some made sense but others completely doesn’t seem to be right and became more of a boring routine rather than an enjoyable thing to do.
It’s sometimes hard to see when you have done so much but accomplished so little. Especially when other people you offered all that hard work doesn’t seem to appreciate how much effort you gave just to sustain and provide. In this life I am in right now, I have been doing a lot of things for others and non seem to be done for me… I feel so wasted and used up. Never-the-less this is what I am set in doing and fulfilling the need of others. Was I born to be a provider and not a provided?
Ever since I can remember I had been expected to provide, provide good grades in school, good manners to other people, be a good son to my parents and be a God fearing person in a society that have followed customs handed down and the culture that they live by.
Amidst these personality changes, I became someone that I knew none off. I no longer recognized my self, cause what I can see is someone that can be considered as a puppet than of a person. I am no different from a Puppet that is held up by strings and every move is controlled by a Puppeteer. I became a shell that had no personality, no identity and was only known as a person of their ideas and expectations. I hate the feeling of giving others what they want me to be, when in fact I am not and shouldn’t.
I awoke from this slumber and found my personality. I broke from the strings that held me, the expectation that people around me wanted to see in me. For once when I smiled, laughed and had fun without care of other peoples opinion or say. For once I felt the real joy of being free, free from the burden of ideals and the stereotype way of living. Life is too short but is full of happy things to enjoy than to sit on one corner of the room and do nothing. Time doesn’t stop for anything and we should do the most we can.
For once I lived my life as I wanted how to, free and spontaneously moving and not following the wind rather moving against it. It gives me great joy to do what I want when I want it. But I never forget the respect for others as this is the key in my happiness. Finding the right things to do without hurting anyone in the process made it the best things better than any drug that say can provide a degree of high.
Nirvana doesn’t mean to be happy rather means a state of happiness that no mortal can describe, cause each individual have a different level of happiness and the path of getting there is not simple but is not impossible to achieve.
I am close to having that state, but I am not in a rush. Things taken slowly becomes more sweeter when you come to the end. But while you are taking the path to happiness, savour each moment and experience that you come over. Make sure that you learn things as you go along and pick up a thing or two when you go by the fields of love. Life becomes more fruitful when you find peace , happiness but most of all the feel of contentment of where you are and what you may have.

And remember not to ask God what your main purpose in life is nor ask him how things would be and what he has in stored for you. Cause from the beginning he had provided and plotted what comes next but he gave us to power to decide so we may appreciate the full love that he gave.