Out of Focus...

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit left out and a little off and sad. The emotion grew to whispers in my head of loneliness. I had tried to work exceeding over the required working hours and sought to have peace of mind by preoccupying my self with strenuous work. To avoid feel the loneliness that is brought by being Single.

The loneliness lingers like cold water running through my veins that hurts even if you try ignoring the coldness. It is an on going joust between my hearts happiness and the fact of being true and not be unfair to anyone when I do go into a relationship.

Part of me is happy for the people around me, the way they offer their companionship and support, I thank them in my own way of giving back whatever way possible. But when we talk about the emotional part of my life, there is a big gap where I have yet to see nor feel that there would be a possible replacement. I’ve prayed to god more things for others than what is for me, I would give my happiness and joy to someone in need rather than to see people around me suffer.

How am I with a girl?

There are two faces I can offer to girl.
One would be true and everlasting friendship. I know how to take care of my friends and seek that they are well and happy. They will forever have my respect and attention until the time they deserve it no more.

The other is true and forever Love. I had been through a long relationship with my previous girlfriend. And also had long time crushes with a couple of girls, admiring them even without expecting anything in return. I seldom fall for anyone, and modesty aside I had also received admiration's from girls, flattering it maybe and maybe to some may use it as their advantage into an easy relationship. But for me I prefer that I fall for a girl rather than a girl spilling out her emotions on me. I respectfully tell them the truth that I can only offer friendship to them and nothing more.
But when it come to falling in love, I give the girl my whole world. And she now becomes not just part of my world but becomes my whole life as well. I will show her all the great things I enjoy the most and share those with the love and care that I will always provide.

I am not a perfect guy, but I can definitely say that I am a “one-woman man”.

This feeling of loneliness will pass and soon become another page and transition of my emotional personality. As long as I get things straight and have a clear mind of what can and can’t be done, then I feel that I will get there someday. To a place where someone like me will say, that I had fulfilled and is now happy being complete.

But before then, I will work on it a day at a time, my only worry is that when the time comes when that girl is in front of me, will I be ready to open my heart to her or will it be too late at all.