I just need you to listen... I ask for nothing else.

Why are there people that you have reached out with both hands to help them, not help you back? Why are there people that do not understand the meaning of listening to people that cared for them. I know that I am an emotional type of guy but I try my very best to keep all the emotions kept inside and not to show. I find ways to get these feelings off. but the best is to sit and talk to someone you trust when you want to open up. But you know what is the sad part... The people that you thought could help, or even thought they are willing to listen are those that tend to shy away from the opportunity. This makes me more sad thinking that I am willing to reach out and help them with all that I can but them not willing to simply listen to what I need to say. I do not ask for comfort or companionship. A person that could listen to what I need to let out is more than enough.
But no one did listen... No one was willing. How sad... I am starting to think I should think more of me rather than others around me.

Not again...

I feel so taken for granted and hate this feeling... I hate this feeling of being a 2nd or even the 3rd option. For once how I wish I was the first to be chosen and not the last. Chosen for something special and important, not something they are not willing to do.

It had been a few weeks and it had never been quite nice and been feeling a little down. I think I need that solo time again. These things I feel starts with the people around me, so called friends that I look after turned out to be one of the reasons why I started to feel these things. Even if I tried to ignore the feeling it keeps on haunting me and comes back stronger than what I can handle.

I feel so down and doesn't feel that life can change for me, maybe this is what it really was meant to be. To live my life in the shadows of others and never be picked first, to be chosen last and never appreciated for what I gave and can offer. I now know how to be a " Nobody ".

I sometime question it... am I not worth it? or is it that I am to live my life alone.

The more life goes on for me like this, the more I become unafraid to be alone. And is less excited to love or meet anyone. I live in a plateau of solidarity but welcomes all into my world, but in return does not welcome me into theirs. No matter how much I try the road ends up to these things I feel. There had never been something that last for me and my life had been to serve them and help others. But how about me?