Out of Focus...

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit left out and a little off and sad. The emotion grew to whispers in my head of loneliness. I had tried to work exceeding over the required working hours and sought to have peace of mind by preoccupying my self with strenuous work. To avoid feel the loneliness that is brought by being Single.

The loneliness lingers like cold water running through my veins that hurts even if you try ignoring the coldness. It is an on going joust between my hearts happiness and the fact of being true and not be unfair to anyone when I do go into a relationship.

Part of me is happy for the people around me, the way they offer their companionship and support, I thank them in my own way of giving back whatever way possible. But when we talk about the emotional part of my life, there is a big gap where I have yet to see nor feel that there would be a possible replacement. I’ve prayed to god more things for others than what is for me, I would give my happiness and joy to someone in need rather than to see people around me suffer.

How am I with a girl?

There are two faces I can offer to girl.
One would be true and everlasting friendship. I know how to take care of my friends and seek that they are well and happy. They will forever have my respect and attention until the time they deserve it no more.

The other is true and forever Love. I had been through a long relationship with my previous girlfriend. And also had long time crushes with a couple of girls, admiring them even without expecting anything in return. I seldom fall for anyone, and modesty aside I had also received admiration's from girls, flattering it maybe and maybe to some may use it as their advantage into an easy relationship. But for me I prefer that I fall for a girl rather than a girl spilling out her emotions on me. I respectfully tell them the truth that I can only offer friendship to them and nothing more.
But when it come to falling in love, I give the girl my whole world. And she now becomes not just part of my world but becomes my whole life as well. I will show her all the great things I enjoy the most and share those with the love and care that I will always provide.

I am not a perfect guy, but I can definitely say that I am a “one-woman man”.

This feeling of loneliness will pass and soon become another page and transition of my emotional personality. As long as I get things straight and have a clear mind of what can and can’t be done, then I feel that I will get there someday. To a place where someone like me will say, that I had fulfilled and is now happy being complete.

But before then, I will work on it a day at a time, my only worry is that when the time comes when that girl is in front of me, will I be ready to open my heart to her or will it be too late at all.

Team Order Admin... Nights out

Last November 14, 2009 . The Order Admin had a team event. We dined out to well known place called the Seaside Restaurants where there are an array of restaurants that serve freshly cooked Sea foods done for our cravings. Almost the whole team came which to my delight was a good glimpse of things to come in terms of bonding and friendship amongst them. I am very thankful for those that came and for those that was unable there will always be a next time.
Even though everyone was a bit tired coming form a night shift work, everyone was in good spirit and was very eager to join in. Jinky for the first time joined us and the one that kept on asking me to drink a shot which I declined respectfully, Jules that came, but was a little late on the pick up time, Ynah that texted me again and again which I also owe her a chance for a date with E ( I’ll soon get you that chance again ) and came in sizzling in a black night dress, Lyan which was so, so, so lively and danced the night away with two strangers on the dance floor ( even on skirt ), Rj that came with his partner that from what I heard had some couple issues ( but seemed to be all good ), Harries with his wife who joined in just for dinner, same as with Mark that also brought his baby daughter and wife, Richmond which was the driver and came in prepared with his cousin as a back up driver, also got stopped by a traffic enforcer that he paid 200 pesos for a road violation, Rhymca that came with her sister and Mommy Loie and left after dinner, Janeth and Jane also left after dinner but both helped me in doing the choosing and bargaining for the raw sea foods, Jeff that was quiet the whole night and seemed to have something in mind when we got to Malate, Lelay who was the last to arrive, late as ever but took a lot of pictures of everyone.

I enjoyed the night with you guys, pardon me if I seemed to be a little off and quiet as well but the time we spent was priceless and can never be erased. For those who was unable to come, Sheena we wish you the best during pregnancy, Jetay that had to rest due to major Dental operations and Peter that had sent a press release prior to the said event.

At the venue :

We went to a restaurant called “ Aling Tonya’s and a waitress helped us choose the sea food we wanted to be cooked and served. Me, Janeth, Jinky and Richmond set off to the nearby market to scout for possible raw materials and ingredients. We had squid for Calamari, Shrimp for Tempura, a Head of a fish I forgot which they turned into a Fish soup dish, Crabs that were prepared in two ways, Butter-Steamed and Spicy Crabs, we also got some Pork for barbecue. We were all starving both from the trip to the venue and after going to the market and as soon as the food came it was a fight for all, and was every man for himself.
After dinner we set off to Padi’s Point in Malate. For more fun. And we ended the night with coffee at Starbucks at the Bluewave area at 3am .

Had fun guys… enjoyed every minute of it. Till next time.

When I hear the song " If I never get to Heaven " By Javier

It had been a while since I wrote on this column, had been busy with work and other stuff.

I write about a song that someone introduced to me. The song is " If I never get to Heaven " made and performed by Javier.

The song is an acoustic type, close on the mellow side and fits for people that are sentimental and likes to listen to love songs. We all know that Music is the biggest part of how we live and do things, cause it can set us in the mood of things. Upbeat,Rock, Mellow etc.

Some people are Melody lovers and some Lyrics of the song matters. Never the less these songs whatever we listen to gives us feel the emotions more, from the artist that wrote it to the singer that gave the song the Melody to reach out to people like us.

I am more of into Melodies and Lyrics. I am easily interested to songs that give a mellow rhythm and fantastic lyrics that expresses simple emotions in the most special way.

Here is a copy of it's lyrics :

What does your love mean to me

its something i can't answer easily

just like the air that i breathe

you fill me up inside, you give me all that i need

like a bird flying high on a summers day

you're the wind that carries me away

to a place where you and i will always stay forever

if i never get to heaven then at least i will have known

i had an angel here on earth that I could call my very own

and if this world should end tomorrow, girl this much i know is true

i found my piece of heaven the day that i found you

longer than poets will rhyme

girl my love will burn for you until the end of time
if i should die before tomorrow comes
i wont regret a single day, because i had your love
must be something in the way you say my name
it takes away my worries and my pain

girl i know we'll make it through the rain together

if i never get to heaven

then at least i will have known

i had an angel here on earth that i could call my very own

and if this world should end tomorrow girl this much i know is true

i found my piece of heaven the day that i found you

like a river flows and a flower grows,

my love for you will never fade

like the sun will rise in the morning sky

you know that i am here to stay forever

if i never get to heaven

then at least i will have known

i had an angel here on earth that i could call my very own

and if the world should end tomorrow girl this much i know is true

i have found my piece of heaven the day that i found you

like a river flows and a flower grows,

my love for you will never fade

like the sun will rise in the morning sky you know i am here to stay

What I liked about it is that it's so simple yet the Lyrics are deep and are all very meaningful.

It is like a Man expressing all his emotions to the one he loves truly.

Sometimes when I hear this song playing, I sometimes ask my self if I could be in the same plane as the composer and singer of this song was to the girl they loved.


The question here was " What does your love mean to me? "


What does my love and the love that I can get from my special someone mean to me...?


The artist expressed it as a necessity : " just like the air that i breathe
you fill me up inside, you give me all that i need "

Air - a main component for life, and to live. For every living organism, either plant, animal or human.


How can you live without Air? Simple description of how the girl meant to the artist, but meant a lot and was used as a very deep expression of the love given to him.


I ask my self what will the love I could get from someone, mean to me... Would it be the same or would I be unfair and feel less of how love should mean to someone? This is one of the things we have to make sure we are all aware before we do go into a relationship. It would be unfair for someone if the love they give is not cherished nor treasured.


The artist also expressed that his love will continue on as he mentioned it like : my love for you will never fade
like the sun will rise in the morning sky


Simple use of words to tell that he will love her forever, regardless of what happens may there be clouds,stormy days and nights there his love will shine and burn for her.


But the biggest thing that seems to be the deepest descriptions was with these :

if i never get to heaven then at least i will have known

i had an angel here on earth that i could call my very own

and if this world should end tomorrow girl this much i know is true

i found my piece of heaven the day that i found you

He choose to describe her loved one as an Angel, pure and so divine. The best description any Man could tell his special someone. Angel that this artist said on his song he called his own. An Angel that cares for him, watched over him and especially... Loved him for him. Regardless of all his flaws. In return the Artist said in his Lyrics that he had found Heaven the day that he found her Angel.

How can people nowadays tell if they really found their Angel or Piece of Heaven here on Earth? How will Love you give and receive mean to both of you?

That's why people like me stay single not to hurt anyone for not being sure of how we feel and how we will appreciate the love given to us. I had found love before but love that didn't last. With this song the artist seemed to be so content and deeply in love with his Angel. Which I am on the other hand unsure if I will be doing the same.

A question for those who loved and had been loved... How much will the love you give mean to the person you offer it to and how much will the love someone gives you, mean to you? Will it be the same meaningful love compared from your past, better or worse?

Be true to what you feel and be fair to whom you love.