Cylver's Life

2011-08-12T02:34:00.001-07:00

Shopping or looking for that thing you need?

2011-06-28T15:55:00.000-07:00

Been going through a lot of questions where to find that one product, that part for your car, sport equipments, toys to anything you are looking for.
I have always gone through a lot of sites and sometimes it takes me hours on the computer just to find the one website that would provide me all I need and is user/customer friendly.
A website that is easy to go through and search for stuff you need and want. Payment not only easy to go through but also secure and can deliver.
I found it and everything, click on this word shopping and you will find that thing you need the most.

Want Blogs ?

2011-05-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

For advertisers if you may have a need for someone to advertise your products blogs.

Working out to be healthy

2011-04-09T05:10:00.000-07:00

Nowadays people had been more into fitness, and health. Whether it be from sports or being a sweat buff in the gym or simply working out at home, people have ways to get fit.
From the food, diets and supplements they digest just to make sure things are working well and waist-bust and buns are what they should look like all the time. It does not matter whether if you are in your teens or 60’s. Getting fit, healthy is one way of making sure you can enjoy life without worries. People that are health conscious are less prone to illness and getting sick.
But also some push the limits and use fitness as a tool and a career. Either you are into modeling, acting, a public figure or athlete, all prone to injury. Need to stay fit being at their best are one of the things they need to make sure do they can play and perform well, especially when people look up to them as icons, they present themselves well. These people do not only have routine diets but also work out and spend hours in the gym with instructors. Some may also have equipments at home or with them always, due to their busy schedules.
In short, Health is important. I can never stress the importance of it and the benefit you can earn by eating and living healthy. Try to look at the mirror and ask yourself had you been healthy, and do you feel and look healthy? If not maybe you need to start thinking healthy and do something about it… Life is short and we have to take care of it to enjoy it. Who said being healthy and fit has to be dull?
Check out these sites to get you ideas and tools to make you into that healthy and happy you.

If you're looking for
Olympic weight set or had a writs injury and need a Wrist brace or if you are more into golfing Wilson golf clubs

I will find my battle and conquer them all...

2011-02-28T15:57:00.001-08:00

Rock

Let's try again?

2011-02-28T15:48:00.000-08:00

It had been a while since the last time I wrote a piece here.

I am here again to write about how things I feel. And I feel like jumping off a building. I hate my life... I'm tired so tired of things that does not go your way. But hey maybe your thinking, " this guys has some issues and problems". Yes I think I do, and it really bugs me a lot. I want to scream so loud and express my anger... I am so fucked up ( sorry for the word ). But I feel so shitty. I want to feel pain, feel the pinch of pain on my skin rather than the stroke of punches to my heart and mind.
Am I not a person worth of anything. Don't I deserve happiness as well? I did almost everything why for them. Is my happiness a big thing that no one can give it to me, when will I find it. I thought I did seems like the issue is totally different from the idea I had once.

When do you find happiness

2010-12-08T12:25:00.000-08:00

When you think you found someone that completes you.
When you think all seem so easy and happiness is just an arms length away.
Just when you think things could not be more perfect.
Then you see that it's not... All the while thinking things are OK.
When you feel so deeply, yet things still go wrong.
When you find something precious, then it turns to stone.

Why do other people ruin such feelings. Can't we just stay happy the way we are and stay together against the world. Whatever they present or put up to hold us back, let's go through it together.
I want you to hold my hand and have no fear, cause I will never let anyone hurt you.
I shall shield you from the storm and keep you warm.
Nothing to be afraid off cause I will be here to work things out.

Questions...

2010-12-03T12:09:00.001-08:00

I have doubts and fears but you led them away.
I have questions and hoax, of being alone once again.
Love was the last thing in my mind.
Something no one every said that I could find.

All I would say... Thank you

I just pray that god guides me in everything that I come up with in this life...

Wait...

2010-08-10T15:14:00.000-07:00

I shall wait patiently, guide you when lost.

I will give you time and watch you grow.

I will be your shield against harm

and will be your anchor for you to hold on.

Someone who you can trust and confide

Someone that waits, and never complain.

Someone that will become the sun and moon

just to light your way.

Willing to die to make sure that you are always fine.

Will take those nightmares

and turn them into beautiful dreams.

Will offer a shoulder to cry on

and a hand to hold on.

All these and more, just because I love you.

I am willing to stay for you

I am willing to wait for you

I am willing... and ask for nothing except your happiness.

Thank you

2010-05-28T12:55:00.000-07:00

I just had my birthday last May 27th, I don't pay attention to my date of birth nor do I celebrate the coming of it. I just don't know, It must be something about this day that makes me feel off. Never in my 26 years of living had I ever thought of making my birthday a grand one.
But I appreciate all the friends and people that have reached out for this day. Everything that they have given me is a treasure and I accept them with all my heart. I am very happy to have friends like them.

Thank you guys... you gave meaning to my birthday. I will forever hold all the things you've given and done for me a treasure.

Happiness seems to be coming...

2010-03-15T10:24:00.000-07:00

I have seen a lot of things in my life, and with each passing moment I grow tired of the things that happen. Life is what people say it is, that it's a continuous cycle of a never ending thing. The kind that seems to slow down but never stops for anything.
I am tired of it, but life as they say goes on.

But now for me, it's different. I have something to look forward to, this is a gift that made me very happy and confused, excited but scared. Afraid but joyous to have it.
I am still fighting to have it, may god give it to me fully as I've longed for something like this to happen and to be given to me. A gift I am more than willing to accept, and will treasure for all my life.

I pray that the fruit may bear the true essence of the meaning, and be able to see the world as I see it. :)

Boracay 2nd time around

2010-02-10T09:43:00.000-08:00

I had the best time in Boracay when I went there for the first time with my friend. Now for the 2nd time, It still is the best beach for me. Fine white sands,clear blue waters and great people.

Food was awesome,and the whole feeling of having a moment in paradise is always a welcome and a great experience for me.

I came with my High School Friends and it was just their first time there. We toured the whole beach front and saw the best sunsets that the island had to offer. Loved the night life and the people was so nice. I hope that the people of Boracay keep the paradise as is and keep it clean. Maintain the beach and the place. Such a treasure indeed to have one of the best beaches in the world.

Good things about Love

2010-02-09T15:06:00.000-08:00

" Love is Blind " ( How i wish it wasn't, cause if it wasn't Love could have noticed me )
" Love is a many splendid thing " ( is this a song ??? )
" Love Conquers All " ( Does it? which country had it conquered ? Maybe we should use the raw power of it to make bombs )
" Love is unpredictable " ( Yeah,right... ! Tell me about it... )
" Love is Sweet " ( My Dentist told me to stay away from Sweets and besides I'm Diabetic )
" Love never Dies " ( Really??? I don't believe it... )
" Love is Nothing " ( Isn't this a message from one Shoe Brand ??? )

I'm tired...

2010-02-09T14:58:00.000-08:00

I am so tired, tired of all the things in this life.
Some would say "it's not all that bad".
Some simply give up,
And say " what the Heck with it ".

I say the hell with it,
We can never control it anyway.
Nor tell what comes next,
So best to leave it.

I am a Hopeless Romantic.
Exactly what I am really,
Hopeless Romantic ...
that's it, basically

Sad thing about Loving

2010-02-09T14:54:00.001-08:00

The sad thing about love is when you feel that you found the one, you then find that it will never be or would never last. For some reason like the one you adore is in love or is committed to another. Even though how much we tried to be perfect and try to be the one for them, we can never say that they will stay with us or even feel the same way that we do for them. Despite the uncertainty, we still strive to work it out and push for things to fall our in favor.

Even if we tried to turn nights into day and cold stormy days to warm sunny day for them, there are still uncertainty about a lot of things. I used to hate the feeling, but as you grow old and mature people learn to play it and go over it easily. Unlike younger people that tend to feel more of the pain of being negated or turned down. But how much strong you are in these situations, you always feel the clinch of the pain and the cold strike of having nothing at all, even if you tried and gave it your best shot.

First Part of the " Photo "

2010-01-21T11:51:00.000-08:00

Many say that “to live is to love, and to love is the way to live”… Quite simple for others but maybe not for me.

I’m Joshua Medina, working as a photographer for a local publisher here in manila….
25 years old graduated with a degree in Mass Communication, from a well-known university also here in Manila, but I’m from Cavite.

After graduation I never had the right time for me, I worked my butt off till I dropped…. Literally , going to events like rallies here and there, meetings conference of officials and delegates getting a glimpse, a moment that will be the talk of critics, but will provide me with the paycheck I need to pay off debts and nourish my needs of being human.

******************
My story started:
On a Sunday, this was supposed to be my day-off. Early morning, a tone coming from a familiar device that rang for hours. It was not from my alarm clock which I knew was broken but it was my phone and it was my boss calling 5am on my rest day.
Not knowing why I picked up and answered.
Joshua…. I need you to go to Cavite… right now. I need you to take pictures of the recent slay case there and you’re the right guy for it. (Talking with a grumpy voice like chuckles of creaking, old wooden doors.)
But boss it’s my rest day….? (I answered explaining)
No buts…. just go I’ll double the amount of every picture that you take, cause this is a great front page story for tomorrow. And besides you’re from Cavite, I know you’re familiar with the place…
But boss…
What the … I told you no buts’ just go there take pictures come back before 11pm tonight and you get every picture double the pay if not I’ll get someone else that would do cause I’m going to cut you off…is that understood?
Yes, sir…
Good now what are you waiting for just go, god damn it…. Go now.

*********************

Packing up a few things camera on hand and bag of films, and camera attachments I went off and set my way to Cavite. Going to a nearby bus stop to get a ride from Manila to Cavite.
On my way I stopped at a drive by food chain to get some morning coffee and a ham sandwich. Waiting for a bus on the station sitting on a makeshift bench, there were a lot of people, but amidst the crowd, across me I noticed a girl which wore a familiar face but seemed aged trough time, she wore a blouse that showed her slim figure and knee-high skirt which showed off her light complexion, that’s almost as white as her blouse. A goddess she almost seemed. I just can’t help my self to stare at amazement.
I sat there staring at her for some time not knowing that her companions sitting beside her noticed me looking without a blink, and told her about it, as if stunned by lightning she smiled and slowly look on to me like a person she knew.
Her smile gave me such happiness which I had never felt before.
But then after that smile, (that could have been the end of wars and conflict) she waved at me taking the time to asking me to come over, to my surprise. As if she knew me.
But it all came to me it was this familiar face is Karen. My one time crush back in college.
The Girl I first set my eyes on when I was still a freshman, we used to be batch mates but I flunked a few units that I needed to go back to that’s why we never graduated on the same year. Back then she wore a pink pony tail and geek glasses but still showed off her beauty and immense physical attributes. She was held Ms. Campus and eventually won a local beauty contest that propelled her to new stats and levels of popularity. Many girls envied her, guys drop down to their knees to get a moment with her. She was the local celebrity but even if she had accomplished a lot of things she had always been down to earth and been easy to get a long. She was nice to everyone and her kind hearted approach gave her that more distinction to be liked rather than to be hated.

*******************************

She shouted my name “Joshua “. “Joshua, come here…”
She asked me to join their group of three… I smiled and stood from where I sat. I walked slowly with cold water in my veins thinking what to say or do. I wanted to stop and simply ignore her but how can you ignore someone like her.

With each step my heart beats fast and hard. But I am also asking my self why this happening to me? I don’t have anything to be scared off, she’s just a college beauty queen three times, president of the Math, English and Science clubs, a volleyball varsity and a two time swimming champion, at the top of our batch, graduated cum laude, admired by almost everyone in the campus including me and I’ve been admiring her since the first day of college. So, I think nothing to worry.

Step by step I approach her still shaking and thinking what to say, but as I came close, she warmly greeted me with a wide smile and hello. Still recovering from that and still stunned, because it’s not everyday that someone this fine comes up and gives you a warm reception.

She asked “how are you doing?” still stunned I muffed my answer “going to Cavite, shoot some one dead”. She laughed at me, not knowing why maybe because of the answer, she said “you’ve never changed you’re still the same guy that sent me flowers but never had the strength to ask me out. And you’re still funny”. (In short TORPE ). Know to my officemates as the “Shy Guy from the province. “

I took in a sip of from the beverage I bought from the store to ease me up so I can answer and clear my throat.
And just then I can relax and not to spoil the moment I took time to talk to her and reminisce about the days and the time we parted since college some three years ago.
We talked till the bus came and found out also the she and her friends from work are going to Cavite for a vacation.

We both took the same bus and she asked me to sit beside her. I selfishly agreed thinking this is it my longtime dream and chance to be with her. We talked about everything and the trip was long we both were tired and found ourselves asleep but that was the moment I will never forget, cause as we sleep she had her head against my shoulder as her pillow through the long trip.

Would you know what your goal is...

2010-01-13T12:35:00.001-08:00

Sometimes people seek for different purposes in life, they search and find the things they think is what their main purpose is. But looking for this purpose they miss a lot of things and one of them is what they were really meant of doing.
People get too preoccupied with a lot of things, that they start to create a goal similar to what they would want to be and have. But they forget the fact that God gave us a mission and that purpose became forgotten.
This leads to lost souls and people in the wrong places. But not all are suffering but sometime what they have are too much and they dwell too much on what they have and greed starts to step in and forgets where they all began. But for those that started off with nothing and searched the right path achieved complete happiness in all aspects. They became content of what they have and never asked for more thus even gave what they have and shared with others.
People nowadays start to create and imagine a future where they are well and satisfied. But that dream is built not on God's path but on greed and selfish intentions.
How can we cure this, if we ourselves are all dreaming of greedy things that we think could bring a better way of living for us.It is not bad to go for something but it's how we get them and be content of what we have is the problem.

I just need you to listen... I ask for nothing else.

2009-12-26T05:52:00.000-08:00

Why are there people that you have reached out with both hands to help them, not help you back? Why are there people that do not understand the meaning of listening to people that cared for them. I know that I am an emotional type of guy but I try my very best to keep all the emotions kept inside and not to show. I find ways to get these feelings off. but the best is to sit and talk to someone you trust when you want to open up. But you know what is the sad part... The people that you thought could help, or even thought they are willing to listen are those that tend to shy away from the opportunity. This makes me more sad thinking that I am willing to reach out and help them with all that I can but them not willing to simply listen to what I need to say. I do not ask for comfort or companionship. A person that could listen to what I need to let out is more than enough.
But no one did listen... No one was willing. How sad... I am starting to think I should think more of me rather than others around me.

Not again...

2009-12-19T19:38:00.000-08:00

I feel so taken for granted and hate this feeling... I hate this feeling of being a 2nd or even the 3rd option. For once how I wish I was the first to be chosen and not the last. Chosen for something special and important, not something they are not willing to do.

It had been a few weeks and it had never been quite nice and been feeling a little down. I think I need that solo time again. These things I feel starts with the people around me, so called friends that I look after turned out to be one of the reasons why I started to feel these things. Even if I tried to ignore the feeling it keeps on haunting me and comes back stronger than what I can handle.

I feel so down and doesn't feel that life can change for me, maybe this is what it really was meant to be. To live my life in the shadows of others and never be picked first, to be chosen last and never appreciated for what I gave and can offer. I now know how to be a " Nobody ".

I sometime question it... am I not worth it? or is it that I am to live my life alone.

The more life goes on for me like this, the more I become unafraid to be alone. And is less excited to love or meet anyone. I live in a plateau of solidarity but welcomes all into my world, but in return does not welcome me into theirs. No matter how much I try the road ends up to these things I feel. There had never been something that last for me and my life had been to serve them and help others. But how about me?

Out of Focus...

2009-11-16T10:58:00.000-08:00

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit left out and a little off and sad. The emotion grew to whispers in my head of loneliness. I had tried to work exceeding over the required working hours and sought to have peace of mind by preoccupying my self with strenuous work. To avoid feel the loneliness that is brought by being Single.

The loneliness lingers like cold water running through my veins that hurts even if you try ignoring the coldness. It is an on going joust between my hearts happiness and the fact of being true and not be unfair to anyone when I do go into a relationship.

Part of me is happy for the people around me, the way they offer their companionship and support, I thank them in my own way of giving back whatever way possible. But when we talk about the emotional part of my life, there is a big gap where I have yet to see nor feel that there would be a possible replacement. I’ve prayed to god more things for others than what is for me, I would give my happiness and joy to someone in need rather than to see people around me suffer.

How am I with a girl?

There are two faces I can offer to girl.
One would be true and everlasting friendship. I know how to take care of my friends and seek that they are well and happy. They will forever have my respect and attention until the time they deserve it no more.

The other is true and forever Love. I had been through a long relationship with my previous girlfriend. And also had long time crushes with a couple of girls, admiring them even without expecting anything in return. I seldom fall for anyone, and modesty aside I had also received admiration's from girls, flattering it maybe and maybe to some may use it as their advantage into an easy relationship. But for me I prefer that I fall for a girl rather than a girl spilling out her emotions on me. I respectfully tell them the truth that I can only offer friendship to them and nothing more.
But when it come to falling in love, I give the girl my whole world. And she now becomes not just part of my world but becomes my whole life as well. I will show her all the great things I enjoy the most and share those with the love and care that I will always provide.

I am not a perfect guy, but I can definitely say that I am a “one-woman man”.

This feeling of loneliness will pass and soon become another page and transition of my emotional personality. As long as I get things straight and have a clear mind of what can and can’t be done, then I feel that I will get there someday. To a place where someone like me will say, that I had fulfilled and is now happy being complete.

But before then, I will work on it a day at a time, my only worry is that when the time comes when that girl is in front of me, will I be ready to open my heart to her or will it be too late at all.

Team Order Admin... Nights out

2009-11-16T10:27:00.000-08:00

Last November 14, 2009 . The Order Admin had a team event. We dined out to well known place called the Seaside Restaurants where there are an array of restaurants that serve freshly cooked Sea foods done for our cravings. Almost the whole team came which to my delight was a good glimpse of things to come in terms of bonding and friendship amongst them. I am very thankful for those that came and for those that was unable there will always be a next time.
Even though everyone was a bit tired coming form a night shift work, everyone was in good spirit and was very eager to join in. Jinky for the first time joined us and the one that kept on asking me to drink a shot which I declined respectfully, Jules that came, but was a little late on the pick up time, Ynah that texted me again and again which I also owe her a chance for a date with E ( I’ll soon get you that chance again ) and came in sizzling in a black night dress, Lyan which was so, so, so lively and danced the night away with two strangers on the dance floor ( even on skirt ), Rj that came with his partner that from what I heard had some couple issues ( but seemed to be all good ), Harries with his wife who joined in just for dinner, same as with Mark that also brought his baby daughter and wife, Richmond which was the driver and came in prepared with his cousin as a back up driver, also got stopped by a traffic enforcer that he paid 200 pesos for a road violation, Rhymca that came with her sister and Mommy Loie and left after dinner, Janeth and Jane also left after dinner but both helped me in doing the choosing and bargaining for the raw sea foods, Jeff that was quiet the whole night and seemed to have something in mind when we got to Malate, Lelay who was the last to arrive, late as ever but took a lot of pictures of everyone.

I enjoyed the night with you guys, pardon me if I seemed to be a little off and quiet as well but the time we spent was priceless and can never be erased. For those who was unable to come, Sheena we wish you the best during pregnancy, Jetay that had to rest due to major Dental operations and Peter that had sent a press release prior to the said event.

At the venue :

We went to a restaurant called “ Aling Tonya’s and a waitress helped us choose the sea food we wanted to be cooked and served. Me, Janeth, Jinky and Richmond set off to the nearby market to scout for possible raw materials and ingredients. We had squid for Calamari, Shrimp for Tempura, a Head of a fish I forgot which they turned into a Fish soup dish, Crabs that were prepared in two ways, Butter-Steamed and Spicy Crabs, we also got some Pork for barbecue. We were all starving both from the trip to the venue and after going to the market and as soon as the food came it was a fight for all, and was every man for himself.
After dinner we set off to Padi’s Point in Malate. For more fun. And we ended the night with coffee at Starbucks at the Bluewave area at 3am .

Had fun guys… enjoyed every minute of it. Till next time.

When I hear the song " If I never get to Heaven " By Javier

2009-11-03T11:40:00.000-08:00

It had been a while since I wrote on this column, had been busy with work and other stuff.

I write about a song that someone introduced to me. The song is " If I never get to Heaven " made and performed by Javier.

The song is an acoustic type, close on the mellow side and fits for people that are sentimental and likes to listen to love songs. We all know that Music is the biggest part of how we live and do things, cause it can set us in the mood of things. Upbeat,Rock, Mellow etc.

Some people are Melody lovers and some Lyrics of the song matters. Never the less these songs whatever we listen to gives us feel the emotions more, from the artist that wrote it to the singer that gave the song the Melody to reach out to people like us.

I am more of into Melodies and Lyrics. I am easily interested to songs that give a mellow rhythm and fantastic lyrics that expresses simple emotions in the most special way.

Here is a copy of it's lyrics :

What does your love mean to me

its something i can't answer easily

just like the air that i breathe

you fill me up inside, you give me all that i need

like a bird flying high on a summers day

you're the wind that carries me away

to a place where you and i will always stay forever

if i never get to heaven then at least i will have known

i had an angel here on earth that I could call my very own

and if this world should end tomorrow, girl this much i know is true

i found my piece of heaven the day that i found you

longer than poets will rhyme

girl my love will burn for you until the end of time
if i should die before tomorrow comes
i wont regret a single day, because i had your love
must be something in the way you say my name
it takes away my worries and my pain

girl i know we'll make it through the rain together

if i never get to heaven

then at least i will have known

i had an angel here on earth that i could call my very own

and if this world should end tomorrow girl this much i know is true

i found my piece of heaven the day that i found you

like a river flows and a flower grows,

my love for you will never fade

like the sun will rise in the morning sky

you know that i am here to stay forever

if i never get to heaven

then at least i will have known

i had an angel here on earth that i could call my very own

and if the world should end tomorrow girl this much i know is true

i have found my piece of heaven the day that i found you

like a river flows and a flower grows,

my love for you will never fade

like the sun will rise in the morning sky you know i am here to stay

What I liked about it is that it's so simple yet the Lyrics are deep and are all very meaningful.

It is like a Man expressing all his emotions to the one he loves truly.

Sometimes when I hear this song playing, I sometimes ask my self if I could be in the same plane as the composer and singer of this song was to the girl they loved.

The question here was " What does your love mean to me? "

What does my love and the love that I can get from my special someone mean to me...?

The artist expressed it as a necessity : " just like the air that i breathe
you fill me up inside, you give me all that i need "

Air - a main component for life, and to live. For every living organism, either plant, animal or human.

How can you live without Air? Simple description of how the girl meant to the artist, but meant a lot and was used as a very deep expression of the love given to him.

I ask my self what will the love I could get from someone, mean to me... Would it be the same or would I be unfair and feel less of how love should mean to someone? This is one of the things we have to make sure we are all aware before we do go into a relationship. It would be unfair for someone if the love they give is not cherished nor treasured.

The artist also expressed that his love will continue on as he mentioned it like : my love for you will never fade
like the sun will rise in the morning sky

Simple use of words to tell that he will love her forever, regardless of what happens may there be clouds,stormy days and nights there his love will shine and burn for her.

But the biggest thing that seems to be the deepest descriptions was with these :

if i never get to heaven then at least i will have known

i had an angel here on earth that i could call my very own

and if this world should end tomorrow girl this much i know is true

i found my piece of heaven the day that i found you

He choose to describe her loved one as an Angel, pure and so divine. The best description any Man could tell his special someone. Angel that this artist said on his song he called his own. An Angel that cares for him, watched over him and especially... Loved him for him. Regardless of all his flaws. In return the Artist said in his Lyrics that he had found Heaven the day that he found her Angel.

How can people nowadays tell if they really found their Angel or Piece of Heaven here on Earth? How will Love you give and receive mean to both of you?

That's why people like me stay single not to hurt anyone for not being sure of how we feel and how we will appreciate the love given to us. I had found love before but love that didn't last. With this song the artist seemed to be so content and deeply in love with his Angel. Which I am on the other hand unsure if I will be doing the same.

A question for those who loved and had been loved... How much will the love you give mean to the person you offer it to and how much will the love someone gives you, mean to you? Will it be the same meaningful love compared from your past, better or worse?

Be true to what you feel and be fair to whom you love.

No such thing as Fairy tales...

2009-09-25T20:53:00.000-07:00

I guess in this real world we live in, there really isn't a Girl worth being called a Man's Princess. There isn't a love story that would lead a guy and gal together and would live happily ever after.
I gave up long ago for dreams of one day meeting my Princess, and me as her Prince.
The elegant and meaningful ways and gestures, expressing true and undying love will forever more just be a illution to many and will never materialize.
In love I know that we can never be sure of what we may have and is constantly a gamble for our feelings. Emotion gets the best of us and clouds our ability to decide.
People play games and never bother for anything but fun, and Love is left only as a word used to bait people in despair and ones that are lonely.
I have a feeling that fairytales and love stories are for fools that long for imposible and unrealistic things that they want to happen to them.

I no longer believe in dreams... and live my life day by day with god as a guide, respect as a tool and undestanding as a weapon.

I do... ??????

2009-09-03T09:03:00.000-07:00

When is the right time to get married?

I'm in my late 20's and I am still not in the groove of getting married. I am still single and no one in mind for a partner. But I am not closed to the possibility of me in a relationship that could end up with marriage. When can a guy say that he had found the one, the one that he'll bring and walk with to the altar and say " I do " to each other.

Having a long time relationship doesn't usually end up in marriage. I am the proof of that, coming from a 10 year relationship that didn't go well and we still parted ways. Some couple go on together for just a few years, some only months then decide to tie the knot. I've known some that just met and had been going out for a few weeks and went steady for two months then to my surprise they got married in less than four months all in all. The marriage didn't last long in less than a year they filed for annulment. But this is just one example and does not apply to all relationships that had shorter stages of getting to know each other.

There are also some that prefer long time relationships to know the partner better and see if they are really in love not just mere infatuation. Some ranges from 5 to 10 even 15 years before they say " i do ".

Either way... Short or Longtime relationship it still doesn't assure anything about a forever lasting marriage. The time spent together in the getting to know and the Boy/Girlfriend stage doesn't secure a great married life.

That's why some people want to be single not to go through the unsure path of relationships and end up on the ugly side of the truth. Let's face it nothing in this world are sure fits or match made. We roam earth not only to survive but also to find our mate. And finding that mate is the gamble everyone faces, we gamble not only our hearts, but also time and effort we use to make sure that we are with someone that compliments and completes us.

I have known a lot of people that preferred to be single, for simple reasons like the avoidance of a life full of complications and some just want to be alone cause they have failed in the past looking for love, which caused too much pain and left a mark in them not to open to love again. These becomes a paranoia that some people go through and try to over come. Opposite of this is being polygamous and have a tendency of having two or more partners. Having this kind of set up is to fulfill all the needs that one partner can not give. Although this is an immoral way of living still some people go with it. This sometimes often leaves a negative mark to people with this kind of relationship or personality. When men marry multiple times they are marked as unfaithful while for women marked with adultery. But here in the Philippines men ( specially those in politics ) have more than one wife, a usual reason why women are attracted to these men are due to the financial security that they bring, for the men their satisfaction on this is the lust and need to have someone pretty with them that they call their own ( especially for D.O.M).

While women on the other side have a more subtle approach to this, which longs for satisfaction of being care for, loved and with lust.

This should not be the case, as per God's creation we are only meant for someone. A partner made only for us. It is our responsibility to find that partner, God gave us a lot of things to survive and sustain us for the search and other things we do on earth. In the Bible there was Adam and Eve, no one else but the Devil. In this scenario the Devil is the temptation behind every sin, and in this case temptation to see who we really are meant for in this life. Clouding our decision making due to the temptation and pursuit of what we want, not what we need.

I guess people should be more attentive to what they need versus what they want in life. Too much wanting may lead to uncontentment, and may never stop searching for what we want in life. Nothing is perfect and we should know how much more we should go. It won't matter if we had a great thing that is brittle and fades away. Better have something that is worth every effort and time. Contentment is the key and finding the right person with the purest of intentions can make it easy for us to find and make sure that the relationship can lead into a marriage that can last through eterninty.

Are you happy?

Letter... U

2009-08-31T09:26:00.000-07:00

A letter written to love... Even with the numerous ways to say how we feel for someone the best is still hand writing it in a letter. Old fashioned letter... Shows more affection and emotion.

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To: Someone I know

I hope that you are well while reading this letter. You may ask why I wrote you a letter of sort and did not settle for an email or text, or even called, for the reason is there are things that could be said by writing it in an old fashioned letter rather than a message sent electronically. With every word hand written, every period and commas in each sentence becomes more meaningful.Just the mere effort or hand writing it is worth the explanation. With each word handpicked to show the utmost feeling, with every stroke of the pen writing down what the heart had in stored to say.

I send you a simple yet meaningful letter to let you know how much I feel for you. Your eyes that seems to reach out and take me out of my way, your smile that could light the darkest places and be a beacon for lost hearts and souls. Your touch that soothes the most aching hearts and the voice that calms down the most restless. You are like an Angel that came to earth to cure and care for wounded hearts, guide the lost and love the unloved. A piece of heaven here on earth.

How can I ever repay you, there is nothing on earth that could amount to what you have done to me. I can never say enough how precious you are to me. How I wish I can thank you and give back the caring and love you gave me. But I know that I can never do that, cause your heart is owned by someone, I envy him and wish that it was me there with you and not him. I have felt love before but I have never felt it this strong for someone like you.

But do not worry I will not stand between you and him, instead will watch over you a step back from you, willing to wait and help you out in anyway I can. I know that you love him so much and you are happy with him. Knowing that you are happy with him fills my heart with joy too.

I wish for your happiness and will try to care for you in anyway I can.

I end this simple letter for you with a simple thank you and a prayer to god that he might grant you happiness, good health and riches. But most of all that he gives you all the love you need through the man that you are with right now.

Friend in Love...

True feeling...

2009-08-31T01:31:00.000-07:00

When people feel something special for someone, they do the oddest things and never bother if it's right or wrong. Even if the person that they love, loves someone else and them stuck to being a friend. A friend that stands next to them patiently waiting to help, listen, and care for the one they love, doing those things and still not complicating the friendship. Watching over them ready to lend a hand anytime.

Even as a friend they get inspired and finds simple joy when with the person they love. Talking, having coffee, lunch or a simple dinner can all mean so many wonderful things for them. All these with limitations and the mere fact at the back of their mind that they can never tell what they feel because it could complicate things in where they find happiness in.

So amidst the troubled feeling, the anxiety of telling how they feel for the one they love, they need to keep it not to ruin what they have now. Some would go and directly speak of how they feel and end up in a ruining not only the friendship but leaving them in a dismay. But others succeed but ratio has it at 2 out of 10.

Would you stay put as a friend standing by for someone you can never tell your true feelings tot them.

Or someone that would clear it out and speak what they feel and never think of the possible negative out come. Gambling on the situation in loosing both a friend and a loved one and but in the same instance could also end up in a positive note.

Trip with Old friends...

2009-08-24T08:19:00.000-07:00

I met with my grade school and high school friends for the last two weeks. First week was with my High school buds... it was August 15th on a Saturday after joining TL Tin's Team Building at ATC... I only had two hours to go home and freshen up and change and off to SM Dasma, where I met up with two of my high school friends... Honnie and Lovee... we got in a car to fetch Me-an, another friend. Then we set off to MOA to meet with the rest of the gang. Since it was almost Dinner time we opted to eat at a restaurant called KKK. There were a lot of people that day we went to MOA and that was the only place close and had space to let us in at that moment.

We all ordered something from the menu but shared paying for the food. We had Sisig Pangasinan, Spicy Squid, and Cheese topped Mussels (baked mussels). We had a blast eating the food was soo good. We finished eating and stayed for a while to wait for the others, shortly Che a high school friend also arrived but after her no one else came. So we decided to go somewhere else, and the dancing shoes were on and they are raring to got to Malate... It was just a short drive from MOA to Nakpil... The streets were full of cars parked from each side of the road and had lots of people on the streets drinking, dancing and having fun.

After finding a spot to park the car we set off to one of the most popular places to go there... Bedrock...but we didn't like the scheduled band so we looked for other places to go to... we preferred to dance rather than sit and listen to someone play or us singing. We ended up literally to the term " Bar hopping " that night we went from one bar to another. We ended up in Padi's and it was too crowded but what caught our attention was the girls in a cage dancing wildly as if stripping off clothes... why? there were foreigners seated infornt of them... We were thinking that the girls was just attracting might be customers for the night... We didn't like the way the place was set up and having no beer to serve. We transferred to a bar named H2c ( not sure about the name of it but sounds like this ) the band was great, Even had a small tribute to Michael Jackson with a comedic play. But it was at this Bar we had fun and was able to dance our feet off.

After a very tiring dance we set off to Mcdo Macapagal Road to have breakfast at 3 in the Morning. We had light meals to fill up our bellies. With all the things we done that day we had fun and were able to talk a lot of old things and new happenings to each others lives. I hope that it wasn't the last but look forward to more time to party.

A week after that Aug 22nd on a Saturday after shift, I declined Art and Rei's invitation to come with them to Tagaytay. Instead I went to MOA to meet with my grade school friend Annalyn...

Annalyn and I go back years.... since grade one. I escorted her as she was the Ms. Grade One back then... We used to fight and argue but no one can surpass her ways when she becomes annoyed, you don't want to get in her face.... trust me.

She looked pale and thin back then, but when we met last Saturday, She was still pale looking petite - skinny and tall... as tall as me.

There were a lot of things that changed but her looks didn't wither a bit. She still looked great, She used to be one of the best looking gal back then,and seems like she still is. We met near a bake shop called, Bread Talk... There I saw her buying a loaf of bread. As she came to greet me I could not believe that this girl was Annalyn... She was tall, good looking, dressed well and seems to do some modeling. She wore a dark blue blouse with neckline plunges down to show her bust but enough not to show anything, If she wore shoes with high heels I would look like a kid.

I was speechless at first and had nothing to say, but she was talkative unlike back in grade school were she preferred to be left alone and read books. I was also surprised to know that she just finished her studies major in Law. And she was about to take the BAR exams, next year. I didn't see in her any intention of getting in to Law school when we were just kids... I thought she'd be a nurse or teacher. She got into Law school because of the influence of her grand parents.

I asked her out for a simple dinner at Mannang where we had a cross of Chinese and Pinoy foods. It was all good as usual as that was the 2nd time for me to eat there. But she told me that she often come to MOA to relax when stressed with school or home. We talked and talked about a lot of things until we found out that there were a lot of people coming in for dinner and wait in line to have tables available. So we set off and I paid the check... she asked me if I wanted to go home I said no and wanted to have some coffee after a long talk over dinner that seemed to be too short. On our wat to the place where she likes to stay when she dwells with Law Books we had a glimpse of the fireworks display that MOA presents to the audience every Saturday night.We went to New Breton a crepe shop... I had coffee and a mango crepe with chocolate syrup while she had what she usually orders when she's there. Again we talked and talked and talked. We talked about stories when we were still in grade school up until the last days our batch were together. I had fun just listening to her never ending stories and backtrack of our lives. We also talked about obstacles we went through and how we became the person we are right now and past and present relationships.

We talked about so many things... the day was not enough. I admit I felt like I had a little crush on her back in grade school but didn't went with it cause she seemed to be so mean, but now I think she was really nice and a great person. Her Boyfriend right now is pretty lucky for having her. I told her as we parted ways again that If she needed someone to talk to again I'd be available and hope that our grade school friends would plan a reunion of sort for our batch. I' very proud of her.

With the two weekends with old friends, I had the chance to relive old memories again and talk about it. It made me feel like a kid and happy. I was over whelmed with the attention and concern that they give me. I am willing to do the same for them... I know how to take care of my friends and will treasure every moment with them.

Thank you for the time you guys gave me last two weeks....

Hope that we can all meet again and wish that it was not the last time I'd see you guys...

Thank you Annalyn, Honnie, Che, Me-an, Lovee, Paul.... thank you guys

This weekend Aug 29th we are set for Subic... see you guys in Subic.

Rock on.....

Ready or Not?

2009-08-21T14:21:00.000-07:00

When could a person really say that they have moved on from a past relationship? When can we say that people survived the cold nights alone?

We are definitely in a world full of uncertain things and what we may have today may never be ours the next day. That's why we should make sure that we spend time and give the most to those things that we might loose along the way. If you look at this world that we live in people come and go and nothing really stays put in one place. If you follow the ideal way of living you would need someone to share life with. Example of that is Adam and Eve, Bonnie and Clyde, Homer and Marge ( Simpson's ), Caesar and Cleopatra, Joseph and Mary ( parents of Jesus ) and even we open our eyes to meet our parents and them happy welcoming us into this world.

Couples that meant something to each other, for support financially, for power, for religion, in crime,for love etc...

There are many reasons how people end up together. But how do you cope if you lost your partner, Cleopatra with the death of Caesar found Mark Anthony but not after bearing Caesar's child. It was good that she met another man but Mark was married to Octavian's (also known as Augustus ) sister. Mark chose to be with Cleopatra that led to the Octavian War.

But how was she able to go into a relationship with Mark Anthony, with the demise of her husband Caesar? She was able to move on for her child and country. In the time where weak countries are overpowered and conquered by powerful ones, She needed to have allies to help her and defend her realm and also to act as a father to her son.

Her reason was situational due to the era they were in, with Nations expanding their territory. But her other reason lies in simple nurturing for her child, to act as a father and protector. The second reason can be associated to the present with girls getting pregnant and was left alone to raise her child and due to hard times, need for financial assistance and guidance they look for possible partners that may suit the role and is willing to step in. They neglect the pain of the past love gone sour and look on to provide and care for her child.

This is one reason we can look at but then again it does not apply to all. Some only want the feeling of being loved and goes into any open door that offers temporary shelter. People like these sometimes end up not contented with what they have and go on looking for others, until the time when there are no one left and they come full circle to where they started, being alone and no one to love them.

This not only go to unmarried couples, nowadays married couples file Annulments and Divorce just to get away from each other cause what they had wasn't there anymore and they want out. These sometime end in sad notes not for the parents but for the kids. But never-the -less people that came from these situations end up with someone easily, as third parties become one of the reason for parting ways. The mistress for the husband and the other man for the wife.... what their partner lacked was provided by their other partner that sometimes end up to be their second husband or wife.

In the teen- generation. Boys do a lot more of the shifting, this is the time of curiosity for teens, the exploration era, guys tend to have more girlfriend and sometimes end up with several at a time. Why?.... you may ask. Remember that this is the time when teens act more active and curious about many things and they want to find answers. And that include Love... they misinterpret the meaning of love as a reason for being with someone and having someone beside them. A way to get laid and experiment with emotions. At this stage teens are never contented with what they may have and long for more and seek a lot. And in the process commits a lot of mistakes and foolish actions. That haunt them in the end.

Me on the other hand, coming from a long relationship believe that I have completely moved on. I do not need to be with someone else to say that I already did just to prove it. But I rather prefer to be single for the moment and stay that way until the time comes I fall for someone head over heels once again. I do not fall easily for any gal and I trust my emotions when it comes to Love...

It's not perfect...

Worked hard for others... and forgot about my needs.

2009-08-14T10:05:00.001-07:00

Tired of working... I need some rest. I work 5 days a week but seems like I've been working 24/7 every week without rest days.
Been typing a lot of things and things I write with the use of my laptop doesn't seem to mean anything to me anymore. When I come in and swipe my ID to start my day I feel the stress already. And as I walk towards the my desk things that I will be doing run through my mind that seem to be a big burden and I can hear my self asking when will this stop.

The feeling of being restless at times does take it's toll on me and the aches and bruises of working shows even to the simplest of things. I guess I am really tired and need a break. Yet why do I still work with these things maybe because I carry the responsibility that no one wants to have, and if I let go things fall apart and dreams may shatter.

Maybe I am tired, and my body,mind, soul and heart is aching for some rest. It had been quite sometime now from the last time I gave my self the much deserved rest, the much needed attention and the all important love that revives all senses. I admit that being single has it's ups' and downs' but got through it and made it this far. But time knows how to take things away from you without you knowing it. And maybe I lost time,lots of it.

But when you say you want to give relief to the emotional aches, where do we start? When is the right time and when can you say that after all you have done working and performing your duties there is still something that is meant for you and that time is not yet over for someone like me.

I am growing no younger, and marks of age is catching up. Funny as it may seem but gray hair are now showing and who knows I might loose hair when I turn 30... What else is there in stored for someone like me? I know that my only fault is to neglect my own needs, and work on more for others.

Where do I start? How do I start?

Asking what again?

2009-08-08T22:37:00.001-07:00

It's now been a year since I parted ways with my ex-gf, and up until now I remain single. If you ask me if I had regrets... no, none at all. I felt it was the best and seems to be the right choice we have done. As I have said before we remain friends which I believe is the correct thing to do since it was no joke when we talk about a ten year relationship, we both don't want those memories to go to waste and should remain treasures of the past.

Moving on she had a few new boyfriends, I on the other hand remain single but admit to have had some crushes and even fell for someone only to realize that I am better off single.

If you ask me have I moved on with my past... I would say yes. I am happy right now with how I am doing. There are moments of wanting someone by your side, but is easily replaced with the numerous work and activities I do to cut time. Emotionaly I am very much ok. I can even talk about it with other people.

I believe in God and as my shout out in my Friendster account would say " I leave everything to him " and so I do. I try to enjoy every moment of my life, either it be happy times or times off distress...

How would I describe my self.... you ask?

We what I would first tell you is I am just an average person. Loves to work a lot, too much some may say. Quiet type, the one that loves to listen to people that talk with sense in their word. I love talking to people and listening to them. I find it as the most enjoyable thing in life. Talking is a way of expression with mere words, that show so much emotion, ideas, and lots of knowledge spoken with voices that seduces the ear.

I love to listen to Music as well. Music that have wonderful lyrics and melodies. An artist's way to telling the listener how he feels and share the moment with them. I love Music it is the only thing that picks me up and soothes my aching mind and soul. Dry's my tears from sadness and comforts me when troubled.

I love to cook, love watching dvd and learn from things given to me. If you try to stay still for a moment you will see that there are so many things you are missing in life. Simple pleasures that pass by that you never had the chance to cherish that easily go wasted.

Love to sleep... when on weekend I try to sleep 24 hours or more if I can, cause when I work there sometimes is no time for sleep. I call the long sleep a time for me to " Hibernate".

To stop doing anything and start thinking about me, which I do so little before.

A new thing I like to do is to write about how I feel and it is a wonderful way of expressing how my life is right now. I can let others know how I am, If I am troubled, sick, sad, cried, mad or even be in-love. This is a great thing and something I wanted to do for some time now but never had the tools nor the will to do, until now. Thanks to technology and people that introduced me to writting. I know I am not good at it,heck I might have a lot of misspelled word and my writting might be offensive or merely have no sense at all. But for me it still special.

The last thing is to smile... I do not smile a lot in my younger years. Cause I don't see anything to smile about, nor to laugh out to. But then I learned that smiles give you a sense of joy in your heart, relieves the aches and pains and replaces them with a very uplifting feeling that I can't put into word. Yes Smiles and Laughted, two things that I will never stop doing.

Even in times of trouble try to smile or laugh at your problems and you will see that your problem isn't that big of a deal.

I guess people really sometime misunderstand how I am, maybe my personality offends them or in some ways might be totally awkward for certain situation. I apologize if I make you feel that way, but please understand that I never meant any harm to anyone this is how I live my life and want nothing more than friends on earth.

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Single - Life

I feel there is no girl can understand how I do things, She might have a lot of trouble understanding me and hard time to cope up. The relationship will just go to waste....

One of my agents asked me how old I am, and asked me if I ever think of getting married.

I answered , No.

And followed up that question with, don't you want to be able to cope with your kids while your still young, and maybe you are looking for good looking gals to court.

I think having children of my own is a great addition, but I can't do it out of marriage or love. And on the side of courting good looking girls.... hmmm, I don't think so. I never courted a girl that looked like a model, nor popular. I don't look at a girl skin deep, but rather look deeper into her personality. So Looks doesn't matter... ever.

Life is still a mystery and only God knows how things will unfold.

Happy times

2009-08-06T12:02:00.001-07:00

I went to Perto Gallera with some of my officemates, last Feb of this year. It was my first time going to Puerto and was so excited about the trip.
We went to Puerto right after our working shift. Around 8am on a Saturday. Me, Reinan , Art, Tin , Jingle, John, Ryan Toole ( an American exchangee for our company) Paul Grimes and Jasmine Konkin with her team as well.
Since we won't fit in the van me, Reinan and Art had to take public transport. It was a gruelling two to three hours drive from Cavite to Batangas Pier, we then took a boat ride to the island.
On the Island it was breath taking the sand was fine and white, and nature was at it's finest. It's how it really looked like in pictures I used to browse in the web. We had lots of fun but the highlight was the drinking sessions we had while we sat on the sand and listen to the pumping music playing rave. It was so awesome and fun, there were lots of people sitting along side us as if the beach was only for people that knew how to enjoy life. Booze were everywhere and people from all walks of life are to be seen that night.

Single life

2009-08-02T19:41:00.001-07:00

What if a friend fell for you? Would you entertain the situation? What would you do?

I had a ( girl )friend that I constantly talk to about a lot of things. I love talking to people and get along people that have sense in what they say. I enjoy every minute of the conversation and learn from their ideals and ways. Share laughs and smiles, and just get along with the ticking of the clock.

But one day It came to a point that she was getting too used to me and the times we spent. And I felt the oddness of her ways. As I tried to shoved away the odd ideas her acts became more loud to what she wanted. Thus in me I know I can never commit. I see her as a friend and nothing more, yes we get along but not as lovers. If I am a friend to you I will still be and forever be a friend... nothing more.

I wanted to spill the beans and ask her what is happening to her. She confessed that she fell for me... At that point I do not know what to do. Torn by the idea of ruining the friendship and breaking her heart. Thus I must make the decision, I told her that we can only be friends and I feel nothing for her. I did this to strike pain to her now at the early stage and not prolong the ache and make it harder for her. But at the same time I assured her that I will be a friend no matter what.

Isn't it awkward if you come to a point where you feel you can ruin the things that you treasure and find happiness in. And in the process also break someone's heart.

What if you come to the situation that I have been into ?

Will you do the same or what?

If I haven't done what I did, I would cause her even greater pain that what she would feel down the road. And make a point that I am not a man for her.

I do not fall easily to anyone, even if the girl really looks so beautiful that others die to be at her side. I fall for a girl that stands out in a crowd but doesn't ask for attention. I look for a girl that hides behind simplicity but is a Diamond in the ruff. A thing that excludes her from the rest of the crowd is what I am after. I do not look at the physical but would rather look at her inner being. True beauty lies within.

To my friends, I am true and will be there for you always.

2nd year....

2009-08-02T19:14:00.000-07:00

Me and my co-batch mates recently celebrated our 2nd year working in APC. It was held at Josephine's Restaurant last Saturday morning right after our shift. There just a few of us that came cause some of the others had to run some errands and work on other things. Never-the-less the rest were able to join in.
We had lots of fun and ate great food. I even had the chance to taste the renowned " Mutya ng Cavite ". And surely it was the best and I wouldn't mind having it again. It was so tasty and creamy that every senses asked me if I can have another bowl. But besides that we also had Kare-kare, Sisig, Crispy pata and a big plate of grilled sea foods. The food was awesome, service was fast and the place was just simply great. We had laughs reminiscing the past and talked about many things that we no longer talk about in the office due to work. it took us two hours almost just to finish eating and enjoying each others company, but it didn't stop there we still craved for cakes.
Yes, we need something sweet and the cake fits the description and what better way to celebrate with an Annivesary than with a piece of cake that you share with your friends. So we set off to Malens to sample the cakes they make there, and boy we were thrilled with the array of cakes they have on display. There were chocolate, mocha, cakes that had sprinkles of nuts and a lot more. But we went to the traditional chocolate cake. The cake was divided evenly for everyone and we all had a piece. We were so stuffed from the food we ate and can no longer have a bite of the cake but we still managed to have some laughs take photos and enjoy the day with friends.
We all wished that we stay intact and that the company would grow stronger and that we may have more years to celebrate together.
Happy 2nd year Anniversary working in APC - Wave 1.

Life is hard

2009-08-02T03:35:00.001-07:00

I have been tied up with a lot of things in my life… Resposibilities in the house , for the family , for friends for work , school work ( when I was still in school ), love one and a lot of other things. Some made sense but others completely doesn’t seem to be right and became more of a boring routine rather than an enjoyable thing to do.
It’s sometimes hard to see when you have done so much but accomplished so little. Especially when other people you offered all that hard work doesn’t seem to appreciate how much effort you gave just to sustain and provide. In this life I am in right now, I have been doing a lot of things for others and non seem to be done for me… I feel so wasted and used up. Never-the-less this is what I am set in doing and fulfilling the need of others. Was I born to be a provider and not a provided?
Ever since I can remember I had been expected to provide, provide good grades in school, good manners to other people, be a good son to my parents and be a God fearing person in a society that have followed customs handed down and the culture that they live by.
Amidst these personality changes, I became someone that I knew none off. I no longer recognized my self, cause what I can see is someone that can be considered as a puppet than of a person. I am no different from a Puppet that is held up by strings and every move is controlled by a Puppeteer. I became a shell that had no personality, no identity and was only known as a person of their ideas and expectations. I hate the feeling of giving others what they want me to be, when in fact I am not and shouldn’t.
I awoke from this slumber and found my personality. I broke from the strings that held me, the expectation that people around me wanted to see in me. For once when I smiled, laughed and had fun without care of other peoples opinion or say. For once I felt the real joy of being free, free from the burden of ideals and the stereotype way of living. Life is too short but is full of happy things to enjoy than to sit on one corner of the room and do nothing. Time doesn’t stop for anything and we should do the most we can.
For once I lived my life as I wanted how to, free and spontaneously moving and not following the wind rather moving against it. It gives me great joy to do what I want when I want it. But I never forget the respect for others as this is the key in my happiness. Finding the right things to do without hurting anyone in the process made it the best things better than any drug that say can provide a degree of high.
Nirvana doesn’t mean to be happy rather means a state of happiness that no mortal can describe, cause each individual have a different level of happiness and the path of getting there is not simple but is not impossible to achieve.
I am close to having that state, but I am not in a rush. Things taken slowly becomes more sweeter when you come to the end. But while you are taking the path to happiness, savour each moment and experience that you come over. Make sure that you learn things as you go along and pick up a thing or two when you go by the fields of love. Life becomes more fruitful when you find peace , happiness but most of all the feel of contentment of where you are and what you may have.

And remember not to ask God what your main purpose in life is nor ask him how things would be and what he has in stored for you. Cause from the beginning he had provided and plotted what comes next but he gave us to power to decide so we may appreciate the full love that he gave.

Are we?

2009-07-30T14:43:00.001-07:00

Are we really meant for someone in this world? Are we to meet the one that will walk with us through out eternity, and was destined even before we were born into this world? If we are…., how do we find the one, how can we say that he/she is my soul mate, companion,partner or better half?
I remember a saying that we were meant to be with someone that completes us before we were born we were tied up with together but because of so many things that we do we sometimes get lost looking for that someone. And sometimes end up alone with no one to share the wonderfull things in this world that god created for us.
If we believe that we were born for a purpose and that god had planned everything we are meant to do. Even the little things that would fuel us in continuing what we are to do and finish it. The simple things that we may need he had all provided and thought off way before we are brought into this world. Food, Family, Shelter, etc all things we may ask he provided along with the one that would walk with us through out this life.
We are provide friends to help us when we fall, a home to care and nurture us. A community to teach us and religion for faith. We all get love in all sorts but pure love can only be obtained with the one that would complete us.
How do you find him/her?
I really don’t know, I don’t know cause I loved once and I myself can never explain how or what love is for a couple. It is something that everyone should experience. It is the most wonderful thing you would ever feel.
But even if you feel the love are you sure that they are the one meant for you? Lots of couples fall in love get married but a lot also doesn’t last. How could this be?
One thing that god gave us is the power of deciding… Thinking what is best for us not following Gods plans. He loved us so much that even if we turn him down he still cared for us and continued to provide.
But then again couples and love fade. Why does this happen?
People sometimes are not content of what they have and want more.
For example are people that strive to beautify themselves so many would come and they can select who they would go with. But this doesn’t follow the rule of love of who you are. And this end up wanting more when others come and old ones replaced. Fickleness will end you up to no where and you will soon find yourself alone once again. And you will find out that you have nothing accomplished with all the things you’ve done trying to beautify yourself to look good but forgot to be content of who you are.
Some are just plain “two-timers “. This will most likely end up with nothing much like not being content of who or what you have. There are a lot of things that are not meant to be but last. Because they accept what they are and who they are with. This can last for a long time cause they enjoy each others company and is content.
I may not be able to put in words perfectly the true idea of loving nor partnership. But I hope i have given you questions before you go into one so that you can be sure of what you want and getting into.

Follower

2009-07-29T14:17:00.000-07:00

ME

2009-06-22T08:03:00.001-07:00

It’s been quite a while since I talked to someone about how I felt.I guess no one really understands me and how I like to do things. But non the less, I am still here working through the sadness and joy of being single, adjusting to the tides. I can never ask people to like me nor meet their every expectation. I no longer bother with the idea of a guy needing to have a partner nor a guy needing to have a companion. I feel that I am better off single.
Yes crushes does happen, and I am no gay…. But I prefer to be single for the time being. I admit that sometimes I feel sad about it, but the feeling of not going into a relationship is greater than how much I woud like to have someone beside me.
It’s great to have someone to talk to, talk about a lot of things. Someone with a lot of sense when they talk. But that might come sometime in my life but not now. Right now I am with a contentment of being single.
You may ask how do I go through my day by day activities with out feeling lonely and sad, and not taking pity on myself for not being paired with someone. Well I usually work, use my past time with lots of work, activities and time consuming things. Some of which are basketball, watching, playing psp or console games, going to the gym, these and beside the usual eating and 24 hour sleep I try to get on weekends to cut time.
But you know it was not always like this, a few months after I broke up with my 10 year GF. I tried meeting or asking girls out. I am not a guy that picks any girl out. I choose girls that I really like, And when it comes to choosing- I am considered the choosiest or the Picky one. I had two crushes back in grade school another in High that came to be my GF. I had a couple of girls that I liked but never worked out. I admit that it made a mark in me and made me turn away from courting nor going out anymore. As I have said before I will never cry over spilled milk but make most of what I have now. I know that I can’t ask them to like me and respect them for their decisions, thankful as well that they were true to me. But it doesn’t change the fact that they turned me down, what is it in me that drives people away? I am not a bad guy, don’t do drugs , don’t drink nor smoke, I have stopped joining activities that guys like to do ( Bar Hopping etc ). Again I am no saint I did a few in my younger days but that opened my eyes to a lot of things and understand how things go. Knowing what these are made me understand how to stay away.
What is it that they don’t like in me? I just don’t get it.
This is just a question in my mind that may or may not show in my ways but take my word on this, I am not drooling over this and crying over it.Nor am I mad at anyone I have a clear understanding about life and peoples emotions, ways and decisions and respect each one.
But for now I am happy being single and will enjoy my life to the best I can. I am considered a Soloist and I am happy being one. No girl will understand how adventurous my life is because they will and might not be able to cope with me. I am a thrill seeker but I make sure no one gets hurt in the process. As God as my guide and his words as the rule I will live this life to the extreme and let him find me a mate if he planned me to have one.
Rock on….

Single Guy… Talk

2009-06-22T08:02:00.000-07:00

I had a rough week and had lots of things done. And I was suppose to talk about High Maintenance Girls,But I think that this topic can never be described and only put in words. Cause this Topic is something that people continuously debate on causes what we are talking about is something that changes and constantly does. We can never pin point who or what are the ways we can determine if a girls is High Maintenance or Not. Cause if we put it in words things change and those that we write down can easily shift to something else. So I will leave this topic be, and let people discuss them amongst them selves.And feel that I am not the best person to talk about this.
A new thing I would like to talk about is Courting – And I am not just talking about guys liking girls, it’s also girls liking guys, guys liking guys and girls to girls. Kinda odd but is true.
Back when I can remember in my elementary years. When I do have a crush on a girl I always make sure that all occasions are marked, Birthdays, Valentines, X-mas,ETC. I give her gifts as a token of my admiration. I court them with gifts and utmost respect. Back then girls are very simple, they appreciate every little thing you give to them from candies to flowers to things that signify that you care or love them. I am a bit picky with who I fall for and I don’t easily fall for anyone. But when I do it takes me years to get over someone. The first girl I had a crush on last for 3 years next went up to 6 years from elementary crossing over high school before the last girl that I had a crush on became my girlfriend for 10 years. So a total of three girls that really meant something for me. I still care and respect all of them although they now live their own lives and have their own family now.
Right now I do have a crush on someone that Isn’t going well and not going the way I thought things would do. But I respect her for her reasons and do not want to bother her about how I feel for her. She asked me not to divulge any info about it so not to make a fuss about it,and so I did. I don’t want to make a big thing about it cause this was something special for me and don’t want to ruin it. I no longer try to get close with her nor communicate so that the feeling could be sufficed in time. I respect her to the utmost. Maybe one thing that I really offer ones that I care for or fall for is my Respect. Even if it’s a one sided thing I still want them to feel the same willingly not because I pressured them. Love is not rushed and we should be patient and wait, but never expect.
Girls that I fall for are not the best looking ones, And never did I go for looks first. I like girls that are very simple. Not too attracting attention nor are aggressive ones, these are total turn offs for me. I want a girl that I can talk to with sense, have some sense of humor and is someone that is not complicated to be with, like enjoying the simple but most priceless things in this world. I am a sentimental guy and I go for the old way of courting. Bring gifts, visiting the girl in their house and meeting the parents to show respect. And treating her to nice things but would never miss going to church.
But nowadays there have been changes and short cuts to these practices. Some of my friends had past girlfriends and boyfriends that they just met and a day and went on to be couples but these relationships have a high rate of being unstable and has a high tendency of separation. I asked them how they do it, They tell me that they meet with a girl and treat her and sweet talk them, send SMS messages until the wee hours and as soon as you know it, they are now a couple.
Pretty quick… no such thing as meeting the parents nor getting to know each other better stage, just go with it. I’ve also got friends that court the same sex. Gay friends court guys some for fun times some for serious relationships. I admit I’ve been asked but never did I give in. I respect what ever your gender is but I do not want to go into something that contradicts with my views. I am no saint but men are made for women that’s it.
But I am not against them having relationships with the same sex. As long as they are happy I think it’s OK. Just don’t come to me. This is no different with the girls. I guess with this one girl takes on the role of a guy figure someone that can provide the companionship a guy can’t. Sometimes this is OK,cause I’ve seen couples that brings out the best in each other. With a Girl to Girl relationship it mainly starts with friendship then goes on to companionship until they become partners. Giving gifts are essential to these relationship as they give a joy and a deeper meaning to what they have. As with each gift there are meaningful things to remember.
What ever your point in having relationships and how you court them do what makes you happy. But always remember to look after your self so not to get hurt in the process.
I my self is not sure when I will court a girl again. I feel that I am not ready and is now happy with being single. I have nothing to worry but my self. And I know that God plans great things for each one of us and I leave it up to him.

Single Guy… No more Love

2009-06-22T08:01:00.000-07:00

Slowly as the days pass by one at a time, I slowly learn how to get along living alone. Never longing for anyone nor needing company at all times. But rather better off Single and enjoying what I can do in this life. My friends laugh at me whenever I tell them stories of my odd adventures, going to places that I have never been and doing things that I can only dream of doing. And I do them alone,all by my self. Sometimes it’s strange but I find this better than being with someone or with friends and trying to pamper them with attention. You need to be attentive cause they might not enjoy the moment with you.
There came a time in my life that I seemed to be so faithfull and caring that I do things for other people, friends and loved ones that made me look like a Dog, obedient to his master.Which I am sick and tired of doing. I have tried to be nice, too nice just to fit in and be treated the same way as I did to them. But somehow I don’t get the satisfaction out of it,and then one morning I just woke up and found my self tired of fulfilling their every needs and not having mine attended.
I hoped, and had been so patient that things might change to my advantage. Yet up until now there’s no avail. I will never again succom to these feelings again. I will never again give too much attention to anyone. If they want my attention I’ll think about it first and maybe I can give some.
I live my life to how I want it, care for no one but for my self. Give pampering to me and no one else. I have been taken for granted and been taken as someone dispensable. No more of that.
Whether you like me or not it doesn’t matter to me anymore. No longer do I care for what you think of me. Either be it bad or good I just don’t care.
Love? Ha…. I feel the same way
I no longer feel that I need a companion in life. I feel that I do not want to court anyone nor meet up with girls. I had a couple of bad experiences and you may say that those are not enough to make me feel this way. But who are you to tell me how I should live my life and run it. I came up to them with the purest of intention and want nothing more than to be close and know them better. But it didn’t work out the way I thought it would. One of them told me that friendship should not be mixed with Loving, the other had a more absurd reason. But then again I had no right to judge them to what they wanted. Right there and then I saw my self and took pitty on how much I tried to be nice but seemed to be taken for granted. They don’t even know me yet, how will they know me if they don’t even give me a chance to tell them.
All my life I thought that being nice to people would earn me good things. And earn me friends and companion. Now I know that being nice in this world is not the way to go. Cause if you are too nice people are just going to take advantage of you and see you as another opportnity of soaring greater heights, propelling them even more that other can look up to them and see them as a better person.
Right now If a girl likes me I don’t care anymore. I no longer want to pamper them with goodness. I now want the world to be nice to me not the other way around.
I respect and believe in God, I trust him. Although I have a different point of view in life now. I will not do anything that I don’t want others to do on to me. I still carry my virtue but I just have a different view of how to do things now.

Single Guy -Loving

2009-06-22T07:50:00.001-07:00

Another week just passed, A week filled with laughter and not so happy moments.
But let’s talk about a Love…
How will you be able to say that you really love the person, and them loving you back? How will you know if he/she is the one and you won’t regret the one that got away?
And if loving a person is letting them go what would be the assurance that they’ll come back to you?
I would like to add something to this Blog of mine, This is from Clark TJ a friend of mine back when I used to work for my previous call center company. He wrote a great piece on this topic called Love, it goes like this …
” It hurts to love someone and not to be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. Maybe God wants us to meet few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the right person we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship, and find that you still care for that person. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, and only find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go. When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but most of the time we tend to look so long at the closed doors, that we don’t see the one, which has been opened for us. The best kind of friend is the one you can sit with on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then just walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it. But it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is not an assurance that they’ll love you back! Don’t expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their hearts, but if it doesn’t, that’s alright. When breakup comes and it’s time to say goodbye, don’t doubt the love because it didn’t last. May mga bagay sa buhay na hindi man nagtatagal, it doesn’t mean di na ito totoo. Some good things are just never meant to last forever. There are things you’d love to hear that you would never hear it from the person whom you would like to hear them from, but don’t be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from the heart. Never say goodbye if you still want to try, never give up if you still feel you can go on, never say you don’t love the person anymore if you can’t let go. Love comes to those who still hope although they’ve been disappointed. To those who still believe, although they’ve been betrayed, to those who still tried to love although they’ve been hurt before and to those who have the courage and faith to build trust again. It takes only a minute to get a crush with someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don’t go for looks they can deceive, don’t go for wealth even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you SMILE in EVERY SINGLE day of your life, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright! “
He had made a good point on how Love works. How will you really find him/her and make sure he/she is the one. And if you do find the one would you tell them immediately or hesitate if there are complications to a revelation? Is is bad to fall in love? Or be honest to what you feel for them?
True that God planned everything for us from the time we came into this earth, till the day we die. He had set all the things we are meant to face. Sturggles that make us stronger and people to keep us company that one of them was really meant for us. But God also gave us one thing… the power to decide to what we wanted. That clouded our ability to recognize what was our meaning for being born and who we were meant for.
I know that we can never tell who we really are meant to have and share our life with. True also that we keep looking for the right one, and sometimes during the search we overlook those that really care and Love us. and rather look for a ideal person that does not feel the same way for us. This is very confusing and complicated but then again with every day that pass and the number of people we grew up and knew, we still can never tell whom we are fated to be with. All we can do is try and be prepared to feel pain when we are wrong but when we do find someone, Not Mr or Ms Perfect or Right. Not the best looking but is the pair that compliments for who you really are and not to what you could be. As long as you feel Happy mind and heart….
When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but most of the time we tend to look so long at the closed doors, that we don’t see the one, which had been opened for us.

Single Guy - Still

2009-06-22T07:48:00.000-07:00

Another week just passed , It was a very hard week but I am very thankful to have the whole team’s support. It was hard before and I know it’s just going to get worse in the coming days. But I believe in this Team. I will only step out of this team with two reasons, One … if I feel that I have given them everything they would need and they no longer need my services, and the other one is… if I feel that I really have to move on either it be career advancement or other opportunities outside of the company. But Never the less, I am very happy with this team.
In a Team there will come a time of people clashing due to personality differences , but I need to work on that and as a team we need to work around that if not through it. Sometimes it’s hard to adapt to everyone but I should always have a clear mind to understand them and I never , ever take sides. I try to see the situation on a third party, to be able to make a possible solution to it in the best interest of everyone and for the team most especially.
With the role I am in right now as a Team Leader this had opened my eyes to a much more broader prospective of people, personalities, ideas , and in Life as a whole. I have seen a lot of things and heard stuff that would envy anyone. But I am not about to talk , I know how to keep my mouth shut and not to divulge anything that I may know off. I would say I am very observant of the people around me, I do not mix personal with my profession. And never do I take long time grudges with ones I quarrel with. I am but human and sometimes snap when I am pressured and I also get mad. But easily forgive and forget.
But with these things that I constantly learn a lot of in life through other people. Like what I mentioned with my last blog, I love to listen and talk that not only brings up the possibility of knowing the person but also by learning what knowledge they may hold, Lessons they have learned and points that could be adaptable to how I live my life. Right now I enjoy every moment, and I always try to live life with a smile.
Live my life happily as I could and be content with what I have and work for what I need less of what I want. I would be classified as a semi-practical person. I do go out once in a while but I do not want to be habitual, that is my way of rewarding my self of simple things and giving my self a gift of relaxation and other things. Like going for some coffee in Tagaytay while I enjoy the view of the Volcano, I enjoy the gift that god has given and that is nature that relaxes me. Eating is one of my guilty pleasures, Love eating. But I also go to the gym to stay fit enough and not overweight. Don’t buy clothes that much just buy what I need. For the house I spend and budget tightly to cover all expenses and have some savings also.
But the one thing I really love to do and often times makes me relax easily is to listen to music…. I love listening to music, when I’m at work, eating, playing basketball even when I go to sleep I would go crazy without music. It’s a way to relax me and express my inner feelings and relieve my stressed mind. I love acoustic music, RNB, songs that have great lyrics and melody to soothe the mind. Don’t you agree?
Love life… Still single… Single by Choice is more like it. I prefer this cause you can do almost anything but I never fool around when it comes to love. I know I am not the best looking guy, But I really do not have that feeling of courting anyone right now. I do have a person I adore but it didn’t go too well when I tried to open up with her. Right there I realized that I am not ready, and is not that appealing to the opposite sex. Back when I got her response about not feeling the same way I did for her I felt really down and started to think if there’s something about me that is not like able. I asked a lot of people about their opinions about me. Some would say I am just too much of a” Good Boy ” that seems to be too good to be true. Which I thought of for quite some time and realized that with my past relationship I always tried to fulfill anything that my X would want me to do. I lost my personality in that manner, my views in life was clouded by her decisions and my ways was turned into something I needed to change. Maybe that’s why I am like this.
But ofcourse I learned to overcome that point when I got turned down by this girl I have a crush on right now. I admit I like her but I have no more plans of courting anytime soon. I am not in the process of going into a relationship also, but I am not closing the door, it’s just that I will welcome them but they could not get the reaction that they might be expecting.
I rarely fall for anyone, but when I do fall for someone, that someone has something very special that I see in them that I really adore. I don’t go for looks. But it would help if a girl looks neat and presentable. When I fall for someone it is true love and I never go for flings. To sight examples I had a 3 year crush on a elementary schoolmate , after was a 6 year crush on a high school girl and last was a 10 year relationship with my first and only girlfriend. I would say that I am an old school type of guy when it comes to loving, you can just imagine how serious I am when I fall in love. And when I love you, I am willing to give you the world just to prove it. I am prepared to share the happiness of my life with my love one…
I am happy right now like I said I’m not in a rush for anything. I am not in a race with time. Take things easy, one day at a time, take things as they come along and never expect but rather be contented with what I may have.
God would only know who, when and how I will end up in this life. He had given me the time to enjoy the gifts he provided and I plan to spend this life that he gave with him in me, with my life full of happiness and wonderful things. That I share with all my friends, colleagues and loved ones.
Enjoy life with the best of intentions and with a content heart and mind.

Single Guy with theTeam

2009-06-22T07:47:00.001-07:00

Another week has passed and another begins, Last week was hectic and full of odd happenings.But work was fine busy as ever, but i had a great time with my team ( although everyone didn’t come ). We ate Bulalo ( Beef Soup ) at Tagaytay. And it was also a way of saying farewell to an agent of mine for her last day with the team. It was all good, It was a Saturday event after work. We had our bellies full of the food that we ordered and ate. We had two big bowls of the Beef Soup, Kaldereta,Letchon Paksiw and Mango salad. It was awesome and very good to have your team for once eat together and talk share ideas and laugh.After eating we headed out to a nearby coffee shop and i treated them to anything they liked to have after a heavy meal. And also to have a bit more time to talk. Although it was short lived it was so memorable and it gave me an idea of everyone on the team and know how they are doing.We talked about many things also in and out of work . I wanted them to relax for a while and get out of the office for once.
I thank all that came, Lelay , Sheena, Janeth,Jane, Julius who rarely joins on these kinds of events and Racel who bid us farewell. I wish Racel good luck on her future endeavors. And Kuya Cris that dropped us off at Tagaytay.
Although a Racel is leaving I had the opportunity to hire two more new agents to fill the spots that I need to handle the workload. I just hope that all turns well with these two new additions.
My team is mainly composed of girls which I treat like my sisters and the guys as my brothers. I respect and try to understand their ideas. I want to take care of them and that they give the respect back not only to me but to everyone on the team and have a good working relationship . I would be nothing without them and things will definitely fall out of place with them not happy with what they do. I also found out many things about my self in the process, that i can only do so much but not everything. I trust these guys with every bit of my self. I will do everything i can to get this team going.
Other Team Leaders would tell me to take advantage of what I have and use my post to get girls. But I do not feel that way I am more concerned of what their performance would be rather than how they treat me,as long as they know I can trust them to perform their duties and respect me I will have no problems with them. And besides i never tried to take advantage of my post just to get laid.
I am happy with work but there are pressures in life that sometimes affects us but these things are just obstacles that we need to go through to make us stronger.
I love to talk and listen to people and that’s how I get through my team. And maybe that would be the most important thing I will look for in a girl in the future. The ability to put up a good conversation and is willing to listen.
Now I am still searching for peace of mind and a new way to give me the excitement and looking forward for the next adventure. Still thinking about having a tatoo, many disagree but it’s something worth to try as a mark of change. Being a changed man… being changed in a lot of ways. Mainly for the good.
I was thinking of going to Vigan but someone in the Family died and needed financial help so I opted to give to the grief rather than to enjoy. Besides Family comes first. Vigan can wait.
Right now there is someone I admire but I feel that we are really not meant. I am just happy to see her each day that goes. Seems like she is the first I have in my mind but I can never fall. We are totally different in a lot of ways.
But again who knows what the future would bring, for someone to inspire me to do better is good, Having a crush is not bad.
My life is still incomplete but I can say that I am happy. Content on whatever comes my way and never rush things. And always thank God for everything.

Single Guy - Thrill seeker

2009-06-22T07:41:00.000-07:00

I just broke up with my Girlfriend, which i have been with for the past 10 years. We had a mutual understanding of each others feelings and agreed that we no longer love each other. We care for each other but not the same feeling we had when we were in-love and are now friends and both live separate lives now.Her with a new BF and me single tied to the wonders of life.
I now work as s supervisor for a foreign company near where I live, and have been with them for almost two years now.But before this I worked with other companies to make ends meet. I worked for Euro-med, SCA-Johnson’s, Meralco and also tried my luck in a call center which ended up to be the best field for me.
My life was always about doing things others expect me to do, doing chores and the right moves.
I was almost like a dog that follows what life has in-stored for me. But I wanted to change this monotonous way of living. That’s why I tried many things that I never used to do nor try.
I started going to the gym that I never did in my whole life,gone on trips without knowing where I will end up, eating an array of strange foods and mingling with different people.
This seems to be a normal routine for others me the trill of doing something unexpected is like a drug, that is very addicting.
Although you may say I live a dangerous life, I don’t see it that way. Cause as long as I know God watches over me and I never hurt anyone in my quest for this trill, I know I am doing the right thingAs long as it is humane I will continue and enjoy what makes me happy.
The sad part is that I am a bit worried that I may not meet a girl that fits me and understand why i do these unexpected thing. I am too active right now to sit and talk so i prefer someone that can run along side me.
But I am not rushing going into a relationship, i just enjoy what the next page of my life would be and what will be the next thing that will give me that excitement in life.
Right now I am aiming for tattoo’s and mountain climbing, things I never did when i was young.
Live your life how you want it, and not live it like a scripted one.
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